Posted on 03/15/2013 10:16:41 AM PDT by Cajun Jihad
Edited on 03/15/2013 10:18:18 AM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]
Greetings fellow patriots! Houston we have a problem! A big one. I'm located in South Louisina 337. On February 28 a white SUV pulled up to the house with red DHS lettering with Texas plates. (Texas WTH i thought y'all were with us) I saw them pull in the drive an met them outside at their truck 2 agents late 40s-50s. They say Hi we are here doing a survey. One agent pulls out 3 volumes (looked like phone books almost sizewise) He ruffles through the pages in first then second volume. He finds my list (The 1 that they don't have). he says so we are doing a survey and we are going around visiting everyone and trying to verify if you own or still have these firearms. He proceeds to show me my list. Every gun i bought from a dealer is on this list. Every one from 22s to Mosin Nagants and everything in between. I was blown away and still am. Many bricks have been shat since then! I told them nah i don't have any of those dangerous baby killers gave them all away after Newtown. They left but sat parked down the road for a couple hours. Probably coordinating drone strike. I have ony told a couple of close friends i trust. I've been tryng to keep it together. The first person i told also had a visit exactly 2 weeks before me. He ordered a questionable part off the net an that's what the agents told him they were after. He lives 5 minutes down the road. I was freaked then but I didn't think anything of it you know he brought it on himself. Until i got a visit. All my stuff is legal and above board. No worries on that part. But then why did i recieve a visit? I don't know i've been gripped with fear since. Keeping watch on my porch, almost sleeping outside some nights. And then yesterday my wife's friends parents who are an hour north of us got a visit. Only the mom was home and she told them to hit the street. These people are farmers and have guns but mostly Fudd guns and relics passed down. The father was going somewhere on business this weekend and next week. He cancelled. Even the Fudds aren't safe from this. My only solace in all of this is the 3 massive volumes the jackboots had. I know i'm not the only one. I don't know what to do?! It took this long for me to tell somebody else. My wife and i are scared [crap]less!I'm not sure if they are testing the waters seeing who will comply. Or if it's something else entirely. Why down here? Why not in Commiefornia or one of these other liberal dreamlands? I thougt we were good we just voted to strengthen the 2nd in our state. i just keep saying in my head. WTF?
That one?
No, it almost had my face.
And I leaned waaaaay back to get away from it in a hurry.
The guys behind me were like, “What? What do you see?”
And when I pointed out the huge ugly spider they all said, “No way!” or various forms of “Holy crap”.
No no no! The trick is to be annoying on FR in an acceptable manner. It’s probably easier to just hang on to the old silly-putty nature. Yep, there’s the answer. Case closed.
When I was young and wandering in the woods near my parents' house (which was also my house) I would swing a stick as I walked to knock down any spider webs that might be in the path. It was a natural sort of stick swinging, using the weight of my arm to burst through any webs I might encounter.
Then, one day, when I was walking and swinging the stick stuck, just as my arm was going through the bottom of its arc and starting the upswing.
I never saw the spider, but I think the web was woven to catch gators. I left the stick stuck in the web and backed away, very slowly.
I *love* your writing! That passage was reminiscent of a scene in “USS Seawolf” by Patrick Robinson (sp?). They didn’t have Blgthrgths, though.
Is your coffee antibacterial, antiviral and antifungal? That’s make up for the hallucinogenic property.
Thank you for multiple lols!
Visualize “pattycake”.
Meanwhile, somewhere up above you, a tiny voice snickered at your terror as little chitinous mandibles wiggled in mirth.
Or so I’d imagine were I to have experienced that one.
Strangely, I often get asked ‘what drugs have you done” when people read that stuff.
No drugs, all natural weird here.
You should meet my parents.
That explains everything.
I see Blgthrgths as being highly enraged flying towels of one sort or another.
They land on your head before screeching in fury.
No real damage except the startle factor of having some enraged flat floppy creature wrap around your head and begin howling.
Unknown, but it does horrible things ot wildlife, spiders, and other creatures.
[Spiders appear to die from heart attack or something after crazed frenetic activity after drinking from a drop of the stuff.]
I didn't know carnivorous toupees could be tamed well enough to leave the wearer alone, but I think that would be a great self-defense item. A carnivorous "rug" shop and training business would probably be a big seller in these days. Plus, it wouldn't trigger any pesky firearm detectors.
You mean where he mashes up against something and an image of that something is imprinted on his body?
Maybe they're terrorizing the washing machines at night. This could explain several things.
“Masseuse!” I’m visualising “Ichi the blind swordsman” with four arms.
That reminds me of a ST-TOS episode, except they landed on people's backs.
Another thing to be grateful for—not encountering a genie/djinn w/hearing deficit. OTOH, lol!
It would explain the dark muttering from the closets all night.
The mushrooms in the basement explains the chants of ‘mushroom! mushroom! mushroom!’ from the chantarellas.
Yes.
But these are relatively harmless.
You're pretty close. I couldn't detect exactly where she was, but her snicker gave me an idea. I stuck a Snickers bar in the first stick web line I could find and yanked an tugged at it as if I were stuck and thrashing. She immediately attacked the bar (her speed was astounding - 2 minutes wasn't nearly enough of a head start). Many don't know that caramel nugat has a soporific effect on spiders. She slept and I escaped.
You have plants and felines? I thought they were mutually exclusive until we started growing cat grass. (Oat grass and some other kind.) Other plants and knick nacks (sp?) weighing less than five pounds each have a very limited lifespan here.
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