We also pray, Lord, that Thou purgest those in the medical profession who work in the interest of death from American hospitals, and those who advocate for death from American government.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, in the company of saints in Heaven, amen.
Prayers Sent.
God Bless
Prayers said!
God give you help. God grant healing for your Mom. God send one of His Holy Angels to kick the Doctors...backside.
this could be an inappropriate stoppage of food and water, but she also could have multiple organ shutdown, and the doctors don’t want to prolong her dying.
I had a similar patient with azotemia (bad kidneys), a high ammonia level (from the liver not working), a lot of pain (from very bad circulation to her feet due to diabetes) and a bad heart.
The patient kept pulling out her IV’s and had refused dialysis when her mind was clear, so we discussed it and decided to let her eat and only give her antibiotics. The family kept watch with her and she died a few weeks later.
In your mom’s case, check if she is on anything that could make her sleepy, including seizure medicines and pain medicine. Why is she sleepy? Did she have a stroke?
Then wake her up and feed her by mouth.
An alternative to IV fluid is a short term feeding tube, which can be placed via laporoscopy right into her stomach.
Long term IV feeding leads to malnutrition, and giving protein via the IV is a bit tricky in a diabetic or elderly person.
The bad news is that often a “NO CPR” or a “DNR” order is now read as “no treatment”...
When I came back to her room around 6:00 from getting a drink and snack, her breathing had turned very labored and they had given her what they said was a “small amount” of morphine. Her respiration grew shallower by the minute and by 8:40 she took her last breath with my two sisters, our husbands and nieces by her side. The rest of my family doesn't want an autopsy saying she is now at peace. I just can't help but wonder if nutrition over the last weeks may have saved her organ function.
She was an absolutely wonderful woman you would all have loved, kind , caring, humorous, but also tough when she had to be. Everybody who knew her loved her. She would do anything for you.
After the Priest prayed with us we sat with her for a while and talked, trying to remember the good times but feeling the pain. I feel she's in a much better place now and hopefully is once again with my Dad, neither one of them in pain.
Please everyone, put your wishes in writing, keep copies for family members and have a health care proxy. Even then I don't know if this will save us from new hospital rules. I really don't know how much morphine was given to her at the end, and even the doctor was surprised when she stopped breathing so suddenly. It makes one wonder.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Thank you for starting this thread & thanks to the many helpful replies. I have an elderly mom who is a retired RN so very hospital-savvy, but some of these were good points she had not considered. I am printing out & saving much of the advice given here.
I'm still responding because I believe some good can come out of this situation. Many, many, many other Freepers, as TropicanaRose pointed out with regard to her retired RN mother, have not thought through what it means to live in an environment where we can no longer assume doctors and hospitals are there to save lives.
Something similar happened to my mother, not at the Roman Catholic hospital where she was in the ICU (which did the right thing) but at a nursing home of my mother's once-evangelical denomination to which she was transferred after leaving the hospital, and which I discovered too late had a notorious anti-life professor among its board members. There are important differences in details, but the bottom line is that I am absolutely convinced my badly dehydrated and starving mother expected to get food and water in the nursing home, lapsed into unconsciousness due to lack of food and water, and from that point on nothing could be done because she was no longer able to make decisions on her own.
The key lesson for others in this situation is that people need to get seriously ill relatives into hospitals and under the care of doctors who share your values.
A second lesson is that MestaMachine is right about the need to make sure a patient has not signed medical documents that you don't know about. Patients are in the hospital because they are sick, and by definition they may lose consciousness or not fully understand what they are signing. Anyone in a potential end-of-life situation needs to have trusted (and TRUST is a key word, don't assume, but ASK what the “trusted” person really thinks) people who can exercise a medical power of attorney, just in case. Depending on state law, it may be critical to get a living will or similar document that **SPECIFICALLY** makes clear that food and water are to be provided. A pro-life lawyer familiar with your state's laws is helpful and may become absolutely essential.
Without those two steps — a doctor sharing your values and a legal document allowing you to make the decisions you know that your mother wants — nothing else will work.
Also, the advice of Brad’s Gramma and Chickensoup is important. No matter how much you trust the hospital, make sure someone is in that room **EVERY HOUR OF EVERY DAY.** That applies even at the best hospitals (good hospitals can hire bad RNs and LPNs). I am aware of horrific situations, up to and including rapes of patients by male nurses, but uncaring and underpaid staff are a more common problem. The simple physical presence of a family member will deter most cases of staff abuse or neglect.
Finally, I really, really, **REALLY** hate to say this as an evangelical Protestant, but based on my own experience, I'd choose a Roman Catholic hospital over nearly all secular hospitals and many Protestant hospitals in dealing with potential end-of-life issues, unless I was absolutely sure the Protestant hospital clearly shared my values on these issues. There are certain benefits to having a Pope and a hierarchy when they're right, and on this issue of active or passive euthanasia, the **ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH IS RIGHT.** The Roman Catholic Church will (or should) force Catholic hospitals to follow the rules. I'm not naive enough to think bad things don't happen in Roman Catholic hospitals, but I think under current conditions, the bishops are generally pretty good at enforcing the church's position on pro-life issues.
Doctors are supposed to be saving lives, not discouraging life-saving treatment — and providing food and water isn't even **CLOSE** to life-saving treatment.
May God bless you and your family in a horrific situation.
I know my mother is in a better place. My sister told me when I had stepped out of my mother's room, my mother had opened her eyes, looked past the people in the room as if someone were there and said “Lord, please help me.” Within a few hours she passed. I think her prayer was answered, and God waited those few extra hours to allow my other sister to arrive.
I still don't like the way the hospital treated her, and us, although if I look at the overall picture, there were many caring people, especially her nurses. We are not a family that will attempt to sue, but we are also not a family that will say thank you and quietly go away. People will hear her story.
Not to sound like an advertisement, but after I get a few things settled I think I am going to start donating to Free Republic. I have never been comforted by a better group of people, and I don't want this website to go away!
Hello FRiend, thought you might want to read this and chime in.
I hope you had a merry Christmas!
This is a link to “The Good Fight” with Barbara Mcwiggin (spelling??). She interviewed a physician (and FReeper) re: this very issue. I urge all to listen.
http://www.ewtn.com/Live/unicorn/jwplayer.asp?feed=mp3&mp3audio=gf818&mp3show=The%20Good%20Fight