“I don’t want to lose my amateur status...”
I am blessed with a great ability to practice restraint.
It has nothing to do with my High School/College experience as a cut-down artist; the practice was about elevated to an art form in those days, and — whereas some did it out of genuine malice — I always engaged in it for the sheer humor value, and the chance to test my rapier wit.
Fortunately, I never lost touch with the reality that some on the receiving end were incapable of feeling anything but impugned; whether it was humorous, or witty, or simply mean, so I now limit my targets to public figures behaving stupidly; people who not only LET themselves in for it, but beat down the door to get into it.
And NOW for something COMPLETELY different...:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OG3giW0Cj9Y
When I was in High School I thought I was such a wit.
Turns out I was about half right.