Posted on 11/30/2012 4:40:26 AM PST by Lucky9teen
Bad lip reading:
Paul Ryan:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewP01X5x9Nw&list=UU67f2Qf7FYhtoUIF4Sf29cA&index=5&feature=plcp
Joe Biden:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcjet2MwUR0
james brown-hot pants
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDTWsMaIHLE
Why?
Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?
Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?
Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage?
EVER WONDER...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?
Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?
Why is it that doctors and attorneys call what they do ‘practice’?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff??
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Why doesn’t “good food” rhyme?
Other acceptable answers are:
A nun with a knife in her back.
A newspaper.
Barack Obama.
Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
Great FUNNY thread and thanks to all who participated. I stole a few!
Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?
Because I’m diabetic and can’t have the sugar.
'taint your taxes being cut and 'taint my taxes being cut.
Why is it dangerous to be in the jungle between 2 and 4 in the afternoon?
Because that’s when the elephants are jumping out of the trees.
Why are Pygmies so short?
Because they hang out in the jungle between 2 and 4 in the afternoon.
TOP 200!!!
A liberal from Iowa was on a photo safari in Africa when she came across a dead elephant with a pygmy standing on it.
“What happened to that elephant?” the liberal asked.
“I killed it with my club.”
“That’s amazing How big is your club?”
“Oh, we have about forty members.”
Ha. I’ll have to do that the next time I attend some worthless seminar.
Honey boo boo’ mom is rich and has a boyfriend.
How much crappier does your life seem now?
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