Oh another thing: Brother and I could have brought in a nurse/companion to stay with my mother, but contrary to popular belief, that could be very expensive, particularly if it involves 24-hour care.
Under the circumstances, my brother and I made the best decision for Mom's care. It was an adjustment for her and she didn't like the food, but she made friends easily, played bingo and went on group excursions. She had a blast. Brother and I didn't abandon her either. We visited often and she spent holidays away from the home with us.
The good thing about the facility was that it was multi-purpose. As her health declined, she moved from assisted living to skilled nursing. We didn't have to move her from one facility to another. It was a Catholic organization, and the Sisters took excellent care of her. She was never made to feel like she was a burden.
My brother and I did what was best for Mom. So please, don't try to lay guilt trips on those of us who can't keep our elderly parents at home.
Good for you...
As in my earlier post, I sometimes think Dad might be happier with folks his own age, etc. We deal with the grumpy comments about what to watch on TV, music we listen to, etc and he’s pretty “easy” compared to others we know. He has a group of school mates he sees once in awhile but that’s it..he’s constantly around. I don’t work so I get the honor...certainly not any of the gratitude (saved for sainted, divorced brother).
NOONE has the right to criticize you and your brother for the choices you made for your mother. You do the best you can under the circumstances. If your mom had specific ideas as to how she wanted to live in retirement, she might have planned ahead to make sure that happened. That’s what I’m planning so my son won’t have the probs I have.