(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)

[Lucky9teen]

“It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.” ~ Mark Twain

“People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.”
―Søren Kierkegaard

“All these people talk so eloquently about getting back to good old-fashioned values. Well, as an old poop I can remember back to when we had those old-fashioned values, and I say let's get back to the good old-fashioned First Amendment of the good old-fashioned Constitution of the United States -- and to hell with the censors! Give me knowledge or give me death!”
― Kurt Vonnegut

---

---

“Everyone is in favor of free speech. Hardly a day passes without its being extolled, but some people's idea of it is that they are free to say what they like, but if anyone else says anything back, that is an outrage.” ~ Winston Churchill

“To sin by silence, when they should protest, makes cowards of men.”
― Abraham Lincoln “All censorships exist to prevent anyone from challenging current conceptions and existing institutions. All progress is initiated by challenging current conceptions, and executed by supplanting existing institutions. Consequently, the first condition of progress is the removal of censorship.”
― George Bernard Shaw

“Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.” ― Daniel Patrick Moynihan

“The struggle for a free intelligence has always been a struggle between the ironic and the literal mind.” ― Christopher Hitchens

“Free speech means the right to shout 'theatre' in a crowded fire.” ― Abbie Hoffman

“At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer.” ~ Marshall Lumsden

“I have always been among those who believed that the greatest freedom of speech was the greatest safety, because if a man is a fool, the best thing to do is to encourage him to advertise the fact by speaking” ~ Woodrow T. Wilson

[yefragetuwrabrumuy]

[fredhead]

That must be British, because “humor” is spelled “humour.”

[fredhead]

Mamma says Barack Obama is the DEVIL!!!

[verga]

Keeps stopping after 20 seconds

[Ingtar]

Sin ... zed ... pie.

[Old Sarge]

I'd like to join Commander Riker in showing appreciation of your pic:

[dragonblustar]

LoL!

[Heartlander]

baracksbirthdaycards.com

[Monkey Face]

I was at Walmart, buying a bag of Purina Dog Chow for my dog, in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, right?

So on impulse, I told her that I didn’t have a dog, but I was starting the Purina Diet again and that I probably shouldn’t because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care, with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no.

I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle’s butt and a car hit me.

[BenLurkin]

[Monkey Face]

DANG, she’s got long arms! *shudder*

[Ellendra]

SMGNEZ
MELMS
PTTABENIS

Must work differently with dyslexics :p

[fireforeffect]

Run
Got
Yen
?

[unique1]

1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)

-You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
— Alan, age 10

-No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
— Kristen, age 10

2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. — Camille, age 10

3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
— Derrick, age 8

4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don’t want any more kids.
— Lori, age 8

5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
— Lynnette, age 8

-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
— Martin, age 10

6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
-When they’re rich.
— Pam, age 7

-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that...
- - Curt, age 7

-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do..
- - Howard, age 8

7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
— Anita, age 9

8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
— Kelvin, age 8

9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck. — Ricky, age 10

[sportutegrl]

Prince Philip to Michelle: Obama looked better in that white dress.

[yefragetuwrabrumuy]

That one is kind of subtle, a lot of people don’t get it until they look at it closely.

[MonicaG]

Love
Experience
Honesty

[MonicaG]

Bammie look like his daddy in that Stanley Ann/Paul photo!