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Read the comments at the site : This is an old post but I had forgotten so many of these and others that were new-(to me)... How about he/she's a half a bubble off plumb. She's so ugly she could scare dark up a tree. Stirred up like a nest of fire ants. Barking up the wrong tree. Thirsty enough to drink water out of a cow track. Horney as a three balled tom cat. Dumber than a dirt clod.(or flat rock) Driving like a one lung idjet, being chased by a striped assed ape. Raining like a stagnated cow peein' on a plank. Into everything like a pet coon. Stink bad enough to choke a dog off a gut wagon. Just sittin' there like a bump on a log
1 posted on 07/08/2012 1:17:51 PM PDT by djone
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To: djone

I guess I’m pretty country for a Massachusetts boy. I use a good many of these expressions on a regular basis.


3 posted on 07/08/2012 1:26:02 PM PDT by ClearCase_guy (Roger Taney? Not a bad Chief Justice. John Roberts? A really awful Chief Justice.)
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To: djone

I remember my Mother used to know an Indian song. It was Euchee. It was surprisingly pleasant tho of course none of the words meant anything. She had learned it from her Father and I have no idea how he knew it.

It definitely was different but it did sound Indian too.

I sort of wish one of us had learned it too, just so it would not be lost.


4 posted on 07/08/2012 1:30:18 PM PDT by yarddog
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To: djone

I remember my Mother used to know an Indian song. It was Euchee. It was surprisingly pleasant tho of course none of the words meant anything. She had learned it from her Father and I have no idea how he knew it.

It definitely was different but it did sound Indian too.

I sort of wish one of us had learned it too, just so it would not be lost.


5 posted on 07/08/2012 1:30:34 PM PDT by yarddog
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To: djone

Taste or smell. Bad enough to knock a buzzard off a gut wagon. Hotter than 700 dollars. Wilder than a peach orchard boar. So poor I couldn’t buy half interest in a free sandwich. That land is so poor it wouldn’t raise hell sitting on a sack of fertilizer and a barrel of whiskey. He is so tight he wouldn’t give a dime to watch a piss ant eat a bale of hay. Tighter than the bark on a tree.


6 posted on 07/08/2012 1:34:34 PM PDT by taterjay
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To: djone

This just came up on the Undead Thread, when I mentioned that I would listen to a certain actor reading the phone book. Who uses a phone book these days?


7 posted on 07/08/2012 1:36:56 PM PDT by Tax-chick ("If I want someone without merit, I'll simply vote for the Moslem ferret!" ~Da Coyote)
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To: djone

My grandmother would say, “I did it with a lick and a promise” when she hadn’t had time to finish a task to her satisfaction. She’d then add, “ It’s good enough. A man on a fast horse won’t notice the difference.”


8 posted on 07/08/2012 1:45:58 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: djone

That boy was born tired and raised lazy.


9 posted on 07/08/2012 1:50:56 PM PDT by cripplecreek (What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?)
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To: djone
The title got truncated and it don't make sense. Here's the missing part:

Long Lost Language!


10 posted on 07/08/2012 1:53:17 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong!)
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To: djone

We had a science teacher who had some interesting euphemisms:
“[that smell] is strong enough to knock a dog off a gut-cart!”
“Gotta pull yourself up by your bootstraps.”
“Wanna be a ditch-digger all yer life?” (To which one smart-ass kid responded, “We need ditch-diggers, too, Mr.S”)


15 posted on 07/08/2012 2:02:48 PM PDT by Thorliveshere
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To: djone

Tore up like a soup meat sandwich.
Slicker’n a minnows dick.


16 posted on 07/08/2012 2:04:17 PM PDT by tjblair (previewed)
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To: djone

Mother would never say it rained. She would always say “it came up a cloud”. Her ancestors were all Scottish so it might have come from there.


17 posted on 07/08/2012 2:04:17 PM PDT by yarddog
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To: djone

She’s pretty. For a hunchback.


18 posted on 07/08/2012 2:11:20 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong!)
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To: djone; a fool in paradise

How abut “sweatin’ like a yankee trying to read”?


19 posted on 07/08/2012 2:15:09 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong!)
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To: djone

Several of my favorites, straight from my Dad:

“He talks like he’s got a paper head...”

“He talks so he can hear his head roar...”

“An intelligent thought would bust his head wide open...”

“Dumber’n a stump...”

“He doesn’t have the sense God gave commode floats....”

Just few. Thanks Pop!

Hoss


20 posted on 07/08/2012 2:20:39 PM PDT by HossB86 (Christ, and Him alone.)
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To: djone

My mother is always informing me after an especially busy day that she’s been “goin’ Jessie all day.” (Her name ain’t Jessie)


22 posted on 07/08/2012 2:24:12 PM PDT by Dysart (Race card is tyranny. Don't be cowed.)
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To: djone

From my Mississippi upbringing...
“ So dry the fish have ticks”
“ She was so ugly she could squat on a tombstone and hatch haints”
“ Mosquitoes so big they can rear up on their hind legs and &%^$ turkeys”
“ Useless as a one legged man in an a$$-kicking contest”
“ Ill be on you like a duck on a June bug”
“ Hard as a preacher’s *^&% on Sunday”


24 posted on 07/08/2012 2:30:18 PM PDT by radioactivereb ("I'm tryin' to think but nothin' happens!"-Curly Howard)
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To: djone

Nervous as a cat sh-tt-n’ razor blades.

Lyin’ like a two bit whore.

Too big for his britchs.

Too smart for his own good.


25 posted on 07/08/2012 2:30:25 PM PDT by SolidRedState (I used to think bizarro world was a fiction.)
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To: djone

Worthless as tits on a boar hog.


26 posted on 07/08/2012 2:30:49 PM PDT by pallis
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To: djone
"Busier than a young pup in tall oats."

"Uglier than a mud fence."

"Quicker'n you can spit and holler howdy."

I still hear these sayings and in their differing versions in my circles.

29 posted on 07/08/2012 2:53:50 PM PDT by Jagdgewehr (It will take blood)
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To: djone

Eastern European guy who was a real card memorized hundreds of these things and would purposely drop them into conversations mangled just to get reactions from people. For the full affect, you have to imagine him saying these with a Boris Baddinof accent.

“Congratulations on success! Is really feather in your ear!”

“Life is hard! You must pull yourself by own jockstrap.”

There were a lot of others I’ve forgotten...


31 posted on 07/08/2012 2:56:25 PM PDT by Ronin (Dumb, dependent and Democrat is no way to go through life - Rep. L. Gohmert, Tex)
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