First I'd like to see the chapter & verse from the Bible where it says: "those who don't believe Shadofax's interpretation of Creationism are condemned to... no where."
Second, I'd like to see where it says that God could not possibly create or control life through evolution, or that evolution necessarily means the Universe and we are an "accident.. [with] no purpose or meaning".
I accept the Genesis account of Creation. I stand with God. Either you do or you don’t. Can you be a Christian and believe in evolution? Sure, but there are a ton of inconsistencies in your stance. Why not just accept God and His Word in its entirety?
Evolution preaches that life slowly arose through natural processes without outside influence or intelligence. It was an accident. If you accept evolution, you are an accident. Your existence has no purpose. You are a freak. A bit of primorial ooze with delusions of granduer. Any meaning or purpose you devise for your life is simply you fooling yourself. On the other hand, if you are created in the image and likeness of God by Him, He has a purpose for you. The two are irreconciable.
Lastly, try as you might, you can’t straddle the fense. Theistic evolution is nonsense. Evolution is a process driven by death where lower order lifeforms give rise (through some inexplicable magic) to more complex lifeforms in succeeding generations. However, Gensis tells us that the animals were created in their final forms by God. It also tells us that death did not enter into creation until after the Fall. So, if there was no death until after the animals were created, how could God have used evolution, a process depended on death, to create life? Totally illogical.