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Tips for Surviving the "Zombiepocalypse"
June 21 2012 | Mad Dawgg

Posted on 06/21/2012 1:20:49 PM PDT by Mad Dawgg

Tips For Surviving the Zombiepocalypse.

1. You don't have to run faster than the zombies, just faster than your friend. (Remember tripping and/or shooting your buddy in the knee while fleeing zombies are all within the "rules" when the Zombiepocalypse starts.)

2. Aim for the head. To stop a zombie you must destroy the brain. (This goes for all zombies even if the zombie was a politician before he was turned.)

3. Zombies can smell the living. So try to hide in places that will mask your "living" odor. (Slaughter Houses, Morgues, Sewers and the typical "Teenager's Bedroom" are perfect for masking the odor of living people. (If you are afraid the stench will affect you get a few gas masks especially if you choose a "Teenager"s Bedroom" to hide in.)

4. A lone zombie is easy to dispatch, groups of zombies notsomuch. (Sorta like Teenagers and Politicians...)

And last but not least:

5. Zombies want brains to eat. So the best place in the world to hide is Washington D.C. (If there was ever a place that was NOT a target rich environment for finding brains Washington D.C. is at the top of the list. Hollywood California is second.)


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: zompoca
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1 posted on 06/21/2012 1:21:00 PM PDT by Mad Dawgg
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To: Mad Dawgg

Just make sure your survival group has one necrophiliac in it and the zombies will quickly shamble away......


2 posted on 06/21/2012 1:24:35 PM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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To: Mad Dawgg
Guns need ammo and reloading. Always keep one of these on you:


3 posted on 06/21/2012 1:34:57 PM PDT by Paradox (I want Obama defeated. Period.)
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To: Mad Dawgg
Get good ammo....and lots of it.


4 posted on 06/21/2012 1:35:34 PM PDT by 50cal Smokepole (Effective gun control involves effective recoil management.)
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To: Norm Lenhart
"Just make sure your survival group has one necrophiliac in it and the zombies will quickly shamble away......"

What is Helen Thomas?

I'll take "Things that make you go yuck." for 200 next Alex...

(Anything Helen Thomas would have sex with would be dead or at least wish it was...)

5 posted on 06/21/2012 1:38:26 PM PDT by Mad Dawgg (If you're going to deny my 1st Amendment rights then I must proceed to the 2nd one...)
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To: Paradox

6 posted on 06/21/2012 1:41:25 PM PDT by Mad Dawgg (If you're going to deny my 1st Amendment rights then I must proceed to the 2nd one...)
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To: Mad Dawgg

Guns make noise - so using large caliber handguns or rifles will only attract more Zombies. I’d suggest the humble .22 cal rifle (low noise, light weight, plentiful and cheap ammo) or better yet - and hand-held weapon such as a bow and arrow, sword or axe for silently dispatching Zombies without attracting the attention of others.


7 posted on 06/21/2012 1:44:26 PM PDT by Hodar (A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.- Burroughs)
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To: Hodar

I like the combo of a Ruger 10/22 with Silencer and a Machete. Ruger for long range and Machete for up close and personal.


8 posted on 06/21/2012 1:53:57 PM PDT by Mad Dawgg (If you're going to deny my 1st Amendment rights then I must proceed to the 2nd one...)
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To: Mad Dawgg
5. Zombies want brains to eat. So the best place in the world to hide is Washington D.C. (If there was ever a place that was NOT a target rich environment for finding brains Washington D.C. is at the top of the list. Hollywood California is second.)

Heh. That's why you're going to be food, and I'm going to be living the good life. Zombies are metaphors for communists, statists, socialists, and the UN's creeping denial of self determination. D.C. and Hollywood are already fully populated by the living dead -- they're ground zero, not safe havens.

9 posted on 06/21/2012 2:02:36 PM PDT by FateAmenableToChange
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To: 50cal Smokepole

Much like the .45 ACP was developed to deal with the problem illustrated by drugged up warriors attacking US infantry in the Phillipines, it’s a little known fact that the FBI developed the 10mm not as a response to the 1986 Miami shootout but rather as a means for “unlivening” the living dead.

Strange but true. I read it on the internet.


10 posted on 06/21/2012 2:06:09 PM PDT by FateAmenableToChange
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To: FateAmenableToChange
Much like the .45 ACP was developed to deal with the problem illustrated by drugged up warriors attacking US infantry in the Phillipines...

This is a common, but specious, urban legend.

Actually, John MOSES Browning received the specs for the 1911 and the .45acp cartridge on two tablets of stone on top of Mt. Sinai....

11 posted on 06/21/2012 3:17:46 PM PDT by papertyger ("And how we burned in the camps later, thinking: What would things have been like if..."))
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