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(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)

Posted on 04/27/2012 5:48:40 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Trayvon Martin's Mother Files Paternity Action Against Obama

Sybrina Fulton, the mother of Trayvon Martin, the teen who was shot and killed by a self-appointed neighborhood security guard, has filed a paternity action against President Obama, seeking back child support for the 17 years of Trayvon's abbreviated life.

Fulton filed the claim after President Obama admitted, "If I had a son, he'd look like Trayvon."

Fulton explained, "I'd noticed the resemblance as well. So it really struck me when Barack mentioned it, too." Fulton stated that while she is not entirely certain that Obama is Trayvon's father, the statistical possibility is such that a paternity test is warranted.

Some have characterized Fulton's lawsuit as a transparent ploy to tap into President Obama's financial assets, while others consider the claim a justifiable attempt to bring new zeal to police's thus-far lackluster efforts to apprehend Trayvon's killer, George Zimmerman. President Obama has neither confirmed nor denied the claims.

Polls Show Most Americans Think Election Already Happened

While America is known for its widespread voter apathy, recently reported levels of sheer voter ignorance still managed to astound long-time political analysts when polls revealed that nearly 72% of Americans believe that the 2012 presidential election has already occurred.

"I thought Obama said he was going to withdraw completely within the next year," said 24-year-old Rachel DeMill of Brooklyn, New York. "Or was he talking about something besides the election?"

Trent Patterson of Hartford, Connecticut, stated, "I thought the finals were the other night. Didn't Mitt Romney's home state of Kentucky end up winning?"

When asked who she thought had become America's new president and vice president, Ebony Smith of Jacksonville, Florida, answered with no hesitation. "Obama, of course, and he spoke out in favor of Trayvon Martin for vice president. Thank God, I could never have voted for George Zimmerman."

Boston resident Joe Platt told a poll-taker, "It was big blow to us here in Massachusetts, but Romney didn't end up winning. I didn't see the final race results but I heard it was a Kenyan who won, so it must have been Obama."

When asked if he himself had cast a vote in the election, Platt replied, "Not yet, but I filed for the automatic six-month extension, so I should be fine submitting it late."

Kimberly Preston, an actress/model living in Los Angeles, may have put it best: "I have no idea if the election's over, but I'm definitely over it."

Obama to Visit The United States Next Month

Washington, D.C.-Barack Obama will make a three day visit to the United States next month as part of a whirlwind tour of the Americas. The visit, scheduled for May 25th through the 28th, will be only the fourth visit by Mr. Obama to the United States in as many years.

During his visit he hopes to tour the White house, Capitol Hill and the Supreme Court, although only the White House visit could be confirmed at press time. Mr. Obama will be traveling with his Aunt Tuenita, his Uncle Charlie, and three unrelated boys, Rob, Chip and Earnest, whom he calls "My Three Sons".

"We're all very excited that Mr. Obama would deem us worthy of a visit." exclaimed White House Chef, Earl Schieb, adding that he will make sure to have plenty of Skittles on hand to placate the boy's hunger for the sweets.

"We don't want a repeat of what happened last time the boys were here and they had to go out in the middle of the night, in their hoodies, to find some."

Michelle, and the couple's daughters will not be on this leg of the trip, jetting on ahead of their husband and father, to the family's next vacation destination in Cartagena, Colombia.



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: friday; ofst; silliness; storytelling
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To: Lucky9teen

LOL!


61 posted on 04/27/2012 11:56:15 AM PDT by DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis
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To: Lucky9teen
Little Obammy at dinner table: "Mommy, I want a puppy!!"

Momma: "Not until you've finished your vegetables!"

62 posted on 04/27/2012 12:55:48 PM PDT by LambSlave
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To: Family Guy

Here’s another that always brings an “OH DAD!!!” out of kids....

A guy goes to a baseball game. He has tickets up in the “300” section. As he gets settled, he thinks he sees a pal of his, way down low, in the 100 section. “Hey Steeve ! “, he yells. No answer.

A bit later in the game, he thinks, “I’m sure that is Steve. I’m going to see, one more time”. So, again, he stands up and yells with all his might, “HEY STEEEEEVE !!!!!”. Still no answer. And those around him are getting a little annoyed at the racket he’s making.

It’s the bottom of the 9th, the game almost over. One last time, he is sure it’s his buddy, Steve. “Heck! If it is, maybe they we can eet up for dinner after the game.” He hasn’t seen Steve in ages. So he yells “HEYYYYY STEEEEEEEEEVE !!!!!!!”.

Well, this time, a guy way down in the 100 section responds. He stands up and looks up to the guy who has been calling out all during the game and yells, “I’M NOT STEVE !!!!”


63 posted on 04/27/2012 1:28:19 PM PDT by llevrok (In today's world, environmentalists would find God out of compliance.)
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To: the_devils_advocate_666

64 posted on 04/27/2012 2:03:09 PM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: tomkow6
I'm thinking of whiskey. It's whiskey that does all that s**t.

Oh, man...can you get that on a Hallmark card before my next wedding anniversary?

65 posted on 04/27/2012 2:09:29 PM PDT by who knows what evil? (G-d saved more animals than people on the ark...www.siameserescue.org.)
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To: fredhead

wow


66 posted on 04/27/2012 2:12:16 PM PDT by DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis
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To: BenLurkin

That Cubs tee is great. I wonder if that’s available thru the MLB store.


67 posted on 04/27/2012 3:30:05 PM PDT by sockhead (Socialism means equality . . . everyone is equally miserable.)
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To: Lucky9teen

A group of 15-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner.
Finally, they agreed to meet at the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View restaurant because they had only $6.00 among them and Jimmy Johnson, the cute boy in Social Studies, lived on that street.

10 years later, the group of 25-year-old girlfriends discussed where
to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View
restaurant because the beer was cheap, the restaurant offered free
snacks, the band was good, there was no cover and there were lots of cute guys.

10 years later, the group of 35-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the cosmos were good, it was right near the gym and, if they went late enough, there wouldn’t be too many whiny little kids.

10 years later, the group of 45-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the martinis were big and the waiters had tight pants and nice buns.

10 years later, the group of 55-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the prices were reasonable, the wine list was good, the restaurant had windows that opened (in case of hot flashes), and fish is good for cholesterol.

10 years later, the group of 65-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the lighting was good and the restaurant had an early bird special.

10 years later, the group of 75-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food was not too spicy and the restaurant was handicapped-accessible and had an elevator.

10 years later, the group of 85-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because it sounded nice and they had never been there before.


68 posted on 04/27/2012 4:00:49 PM PDT by ErnBatavia (A conservative, a liberal and a moderate walked into a bar; barkeep said "Hi Mitt")
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To: dangus
Please tell me that is photoshopped.

You'll notice at the bottom right of the screen the "power meters" or whatever.

69 posted on 04/27/2012 4:47:32 PM PDT by Big Giant Head
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To: wyokostur

RDHS (Roman Dept.of Homeland Security)?


70 posted on 04/27/2012 8:26:15 PM PDT by sleddogs
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To: Drumbo; tomkow6

LOL! Gotta share that one!


71 posted on 04/28/2012 8:24:58 AM PDT by Titan Magroyne (What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.)
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