A Catholic priest and a rabbi are sitting together on a train. Eventually the priest says "Rabbi, forgive my curiosity, but did you ever violate your religion's dietary laws?"
The rabbi replies "Yes. Once in my youth I had a moment of weakness, and I ate a ham sandwich."
The priest nods. After a few minutes the rabbi asks "So, Father, I don't mean to pry, but did you ever violate your vow of chastity?"
The priest sighs. "To my shame, yes. Once in my youth I had a moment of weakness, and I lay with a woman."
The rabbi thought for a moment. "Sure beats the hell out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"
The one preacher in the two-church village was seen without his customary bicycle by the other preacher. When asked, he stated that someone stole it from the courtyard of the church! The other preacher said that he should preach on the Ten Commandments, and lay it on heavy on the “Thou Shalt Not Steal” one and the person would feel so guilty that they would return the bike.
The next week the preacher was seen with his trusty old bike again. “Ahh - I knew preaching on the Big Ten would get you your bike back!”
“Well - yes, but not exactly like you thought. I got to the one about “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery”; and I remembered where I left it.”