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>>Out there somewhere where all OLD man riiiiiiverrrrrr.<<

Freberg: Well, it’s great to be with you tonight. We have a ...

Tweedly: Pardon me Mr. Freberg, my name is Mr. Tweedly.

Freberg: Well, we all have our problems.

Tweedly: I’m the censor form the Citizens Radio Committee and uh, I feel...

Freberg: You are from the Citizens Radio Committee?

Tweedly: Exactly what I said, yes. And I...

Freberg: And what is your purpose in being here.

Tweedly: I must OK all the material used on your program here, and I think the best method is to just sit back here and interrupt when I feel it’s necessary.

Freberg: You mean you plan to stop me every time I do something YOU think is wrong?

Tweedly: Exactly, I’ll just sound my little horn like this, “HONK!” and then you stop and I’ll tell you what’s wrong.

Freberg: Somehow I can tell this is going to be one of those days.

Tweedly: You just go right ahead Mr. Freberg don’t mind me.

Freberg: Yeah, Now I’d like to sing... “HONK!”

Tweedly: You forgot to say “Thank You” Mr. Freberg, Politeness is essential in radio programming. Your program goes into the home, we must be a good influence on children.

Freberg: I see uh... that’s a nice little horn you have there, thanks very much Mr. Tweedly.

Tweedly: You’re welcome I’m sure

Freberg: I’d like to sing a old river song in honor of National Mississippi River Boat Paddle Wheel week Mr. May if you please.

Tweedly: Very Polite Mr. Freberg.

Freberg: Old Man Riv “HONK!” All right tweedly, politeness I dig, but what in the world is wrong with “Old Man River”?

Tweedly: The word “old” has a connotation some of the more elderly folks find distasteful. I would suggest you make the substitution please.

Freberg: I suppose you insist?

Tweedly: Precisely.

Freberg: OK, music “HONK”

Tweedly: You forgot to say “Thank you”.

Freberg: Thank you, Mr. Tweedly.

Tweedly: You’re quite welcome I’m sure.

Freberg: Elderly Man River, that Elderly Man River, he must know somethin’ but he don’t say nothin “HONK!” All right hold it fellas, Now what Tweedly?

Tweedly: The word “something” you left off the “g”.

Freberg: But that’s authentic, “somethin’, somethin’,” that’s the way people talk down there.

Tweedly: I’m sorry, the home is a classroom Mr. Freberg.

Freberg: I know you said that.

Tweedly: Keep in mind the tiny tots. And further more, think back. You’ll recall you said, “but he don’t say nothin”, That was in quote. Now really Mr. Freberg, that’s a double negative. do you mean “he does say something”?

Freberg: No I just wasn’t using my head I guess.

Tweedly: I mean, after all, it should be grammatically correct. keeping in mind the tiny tots, you probably mean “he doesn’t say anything”.

Freberg: I-I-I I suppose I mean that, I guess, all right fine, you win, OKBilly, music... “HONK!” Thank you! thank you.

Tweedly: You’re welcome I’m sure

Freberg: Elderly Man River, that Elderly Man River, he must know something but he doesn’t say anything he just keeps rollin’, rolling, he just keeps rolling along.

He don’t “HONK!” doesn’t plant taters, potatoes, he doesn’t plant cotton and them, these, those, that plants them are soon forgotten, but Elderly Man River, he just keeps rolling along...

Tweedly: Excellent

Freberg: “You and me,

“HONK”

Freberg: The tiny tots again was it?

Tweedly: Exactly.

Freberg: Sorry about that, here we go.

You and I, we sweat “HONK!” perspire and strain... bodies all achin’ and racked with pain...

well, we got by that one

Tote that barge! Lift that bale! You get a little...

Take your finger off the button now, Mr. Tweedly. We know when we’re licked.

Well, that concludes “Elderly Man River.” Now turning to the sports page here... “HONK” Oh yes, and thank you for being with us Mr. Tweedly.

Tweedly: You’re welcome I’m sure.