Posted on 12/08/2011 11:52:02 AM PST by AUJenn
We have a close family member who decided a few years ago that she was gay. I say 'decided' because up until then, she had always dated men and was actually about to get married. It came as a huge shock to everyone and has taken a while to get used to. She has had the same partner since she announced her lifestyle change. It has been difficult for me and other family members to accept and get used to their living arrangements, lifestyle, etc, especially on holidays. But as time has gone on, I have accepted this is how she is going to live and there is nothing I can do about it. But I don't like it.
I have always been polite and cordial because I see no sense in being rude or hostile. And if I were hateful, it would just give conservatives/Christians a bad name IMO, and would add fuel to their fire. That being said....she has announced that she and her partner are having a baby. The partner is pregnant. This has really thrown us for a loop, as we never expected this to happen.
It so happens that I have a small child and am expecting again, so it really makes me think. I am completely against their doing this. But I have no idea how to publicly act or respond to this situation - especially at upcoming family holiday events. I don't feel like happily telling them 'congratulations!' or talking about baby things. I think about how this poor kid is going to feel about his/her parent situation, or how I'm going to explain to my children why this baby 'has two moms' and on and on.
If anyone has a gay family member or has been in a similar situation, I'd love to hear how you handle it. Thank you -
Anybody with a homosexual family member who fails to admonish them, doesn’t have a lasting love for that family member.
God is very clear regarding homosexuality and the fate of those who adhere to it. They will not inherit the Kingdom of God.
If you truly love the family member, communicate this to them while they still have time to learn how and why they must turn away from homosexuality.
Anybody who condones the ignorance of the vice, simply has no love for their fellow man.
re: “Jesus did NOT condone sexual immorality. He told them “Go. And sin no more”.
Is that to imply that He did not condemn them either?”
You have to look at the context of the story. The men who brought this woman, who had committed adultery, with the intent of “condemning her to death”. That was the scriptural punishment for adultery required by the Mosaic Law.
But, Jesus turned the issue on them and said that whoever had no sin could throw the first stone. They all left. Jesus asked the woman if there were any left to condemn her - she said “no”. Then He said, “Then neither do I condemn you - Go and sin no more.”
So, there was no one left to “condemn” her to death. Also, Jesus, as God the Son, chose to forgive her sin rather than “condemn” her to death as well. And, in addition, He told her to go and “sin no more” - don’t commit adultery anymore is the context - why? Because adultery is a sin.
The implication then is not that adultery is Ok, but that Jesus was merciful toward her while the other men were not. However, that did not mean that the act of adultery is now OK and Acceptable. He clearly indicated that it was a sin and that she should never do it again.
>> she has announced that she and her partner are having a baby
Babies are cool. They’re new humans with absolutely no indication of what they’ll become. No doubt you’ll be a good, modest liaison for Christ.
You’re not responsible for the affairs of others. But the fullness of your life can impact, in a meaningful way, the welfare of others.
Good point. I've never witnessed a homosexual avoid alienating any believing Christian they meet. The mere act and residence in homosexuality alienates God from having fellowship with them, as well.
It's probably the best practice to encourage homosexuals to reject their perversion so they don't alienate God, nor other relationships He provides for them.
I don't see that as having a lot to do with lesbianism. Straight kids put the "touch" on parents too and it can only continue as long as the parents allow it.
A quick example, I have a good friend, who retired about the same time I did 12 years ago. He was every bit as financially prepared as I was and he and his wife only had one child, a daughter who was sexually straight. Daughter has financially drained them over the years, she's 38 years old now, many times divorced and still tapping her parents rapidly decreasing funds, to the point that the parents, for the first time in many years have mortgaged their home.
He has asked me, "what can I do"? I tell him the easy part of the truth, that he has to let her fall....Advice that is much easier given, than taken. The part that I don't tell him, because it would not help matters at all, is that they and they alone created this harsh situation.
I have known daughter and parents since daughter was an infant and watched her parents give their only child everything her little heart desired. It continues to this day, only now there are two grand children involved for the daughter to use as "weapons", putting my friends in what they see as an impossible situation.
Didn't mean to write so much, this could have been some kind of vanity thread of its own.
To AUJenn - I'll pray for your situation and the family that's involved, this kind of situation has the potential of causing rifts in families.
I understand what you mean, but the niece was into drugs as well as being queer. I know straight kids that strap their parents when financial problems pop up. Our policy has been, don't lend money to family or friends.
Sorry, but I disagree. Do people who are exposed to alcoholics think alcoholism is normal? Nope, not even kids raised around them do.
Tolerating something is not remotely the same as morally accepting it as normal, and even gay rights folks know this. They are long past the point of having to fight for tolerance, most people will tolerate them, but few view it as normal, and never will.
Showing your children tolerance of people who do things you don't agree with is not remotely the same as those children accepting it as "normal". You cannot espouse a lifestyle of live and let live, and then not walk the walk.
My mother dated an alcoholic and pot smoker for over a decade, it did put strain on my relationship with her, and it limited how I would allow my children to be around her. However I did not end my relationship over it, nor did my children come to find his drinking and behavior "normal".
Tolerating something is not the same as accepting it. I accept friends and folks who are gay as failed and flawed human beings, as we all are.. I tolerate their choice to live the lifestyle they choose, but I do not remotely accept it as normal. Just as I am sure they don't remotely accept all the choices I have made in my life as normal or right.
Weak. So you chicken out by by “tolerating” faggots and dykes??
Myself, I would probably disown/avoid any family member who’s queer.
Alcoholics are not demanding approval, are not demanding special rights, or trying to silence opposition. You are falling for the homonazi agenda, hook,line and sinker.
So you think voicing disapproval equals hate??? Standing by and not openly opposing the homosexists corrupting children is the same as condoning it. Family or not, they need to be called out on their perversion and abuse of children.
You choose to avoid or disown someone who engages in something you consider sinful? Your right to do so, I'm just thankful Christ didn't set that sort of example, otherwise we'd all be doomed.
You seem incapable of separating individuals from politics. Accpeting a person as a person, is not remotely the same as accepting their political views or goals. Not to mention the generalization that all homosexuals are somehow part of the rabid crazy faction.
Unforutnately your choice of words and actions have already shown you are part of the rabid crazy biggot faction, that gives all conservatives a bad name, and allows the press to paint us all as haters and undermines completely the proven, logical and social basis for our stands... so thank you so much, I'm glad I have to spend my life not only fighting for conservative ideology, but that I get to do it from the hole your hatred paints all of us with.
So id I disown a family member who’s a murderer, gangbanger or junkie, that makes me a “crazy biggot” as well??
You don’t get it. The OP said their lesbo relative is bringing a poor innocent child into this(it would be bad enough without that factor). Homosexists corrupt and abuse children, and it is not right that children should be indoctrinated and around their perversions. It is inhumane, and should not be tolerated.
Actions and lifestyle do matter, and it is not OK to just be passive about it. An individual should be judged on that. Not everyone has to be accepted as a friend, in the case of family, evildoers should be shunned.
Homosexism is a sexual disorder, as well as a mental one. Conservatives should pray for them, and offer the choices of treatment and help for them, but condemn their deviance all the while.
So if I disown a family member who’s a murderer,gangbanger or junkie, that makes me a “crazy biggot” as well??
It is always about the self-centered practice of homosexual behavior—the homosexual forces the rest of the family to accept them and if they don’t, most will make the choice to follow their obsession and leave the family unit—we see this same pattern among drug addicts, alcoholics, pedophiles and compulsive gamblers. This obsession takes over their life and make no mistake, the utter torture this will be for that child is hard to imagine—in most cases homosexuals simply use children to further their self-absorbed behavior.
I have a colleague whose son declared he was a homosexual at 16. Predictably, this generated a firestorm in the family. After a long period of tortured family meetings, discussions, and restrictions placed on this young boy who was never allowed to bring his fellow deviants on the property, he was put into a counseling program. He returned to a normal lifestyle, and has since married a normal woman. There is help and people can change all manner of destructive behavior.
Best answer is following: You should never stand back and allow evil—Bonhoeffer said it best-—not saying anything is condoning the behavior and allowing evil to magnify and destroy tons of others because of your silence in the face of true evil—that denial of God and Natural Design and hatred of your own body.””
This is the best response I have yet read. To stand and do/say nothing, is nothing short of enabling.
I do get it, you are comparing someone who is engaging in choices that affect them, with others who are engaging in choices that harm others. Your comparison of a Homosexual to a Murderer is proving exactly the insanity, irrationality and biggotry.
You are free to be a biggot, and an angry loud mouthed one at that, that’s the beauty of life in a free society.
You really need to stop being so knee jerk and angry and think for a minute, I am a firm believe that homsexuality is a mental disorder, and you are wellcome to search over 10 years of my postings to find that I do agree it is a disorder, but it doesn’t mean I treat folks who engage in it as less than human, or equate them to murderers.
As a mental disorder, would I keep my child from interacting with a relative who I know has depression? No, I wouldn’t.. I wouldn’t leave them alone in their care, but I certainly would not shun or disown them for it.
You keep trying to rationalize hate, and its irrational. You aren’t espousing a difference of opinion of these persons lifestyle, or even political viewpoints, you are simply espousing derogatory words and attacks, nothing more. Any logic you offer behind your argument is lost, because you are not offering rational logical reasoned response, but vile, bitter, anger.
You cannot refer to a group of people repeatedly by derogatory names and then claim you are not being a biggot. I know in your small mind you probably can’t even see it, but you are basically being classic biggotted hatred, that lets the left paint all conservatives as hateful, small minded people. Thank you for continuing to give them fodder, I do appreciate you making the conservative movement have to work that much harder to achiieve its goals.
Condem them all the while? Wow, I think I’ll take God’s advice over yours on that one. Last I checked, Bible states when you see someone sin, and you say nothing, their sin is yours because they may not know they are sinning, if however you see someone sin, and you inform them it is a sin, your moral duty is met, and their sin is no longer yours. That’s not a call to “condemn them all the while”.. that an order to let them know it is a sin, and then it is up to them to change or not.. Not an order for you to shun, disown, disavow, berate, belittle, name call, etc etc etc.
Like I said, I don’t know what church you got your morality from, but hopefully its a small congregation.
I really don’t see how you think that a child merely being in the presence of a Homosexual is going to destroy them? I have no dillusions about abuse rates by homosexuals, or other mental issues etc.. I know them all very well, I’ve had to patrol against predators at childhood events where gay pedophiles have tried to infilitrate, etc etc etc. Fact is, like it or not, your child has and will be around Homosexuals, and you may not even know who they are. I don’t think simply being in the same room as a homosexual from time to time is going to damage your childs emotional, sexual or mental well being.
If the women were abusive or engaging in inappropriate behavior in sight of the woman’s child, then that is an entirely different issue, and no I don’t think 2 lesbians in general are the best choice to raise a child.. but to simply say, nope, and shut of all contact with a relative over the fact they live their life in a way you don’t approve of, but causes you no harm is silly.
Homosexism does harm others. It harms everyone around it, especially children. it is very destructive to society in every way. So you’re relativism will not work on me.
It is the chosen behavior that is the illness, I find it offensive to compare an unrepentant homosexist willingly engaging in a sick perversion to someone who suffers depression. Many people who suffer mental illness but do not engage in sexual perversion find that offensive as well.
Condemning a person’s actions and behavior is not treating them less than human, it used to be called “common sense”. Now,in today’s touchy-feely, emotion-driven and ultra-P.C. world,it’s somehow “inhuman”. And you have no problem with that.
I hate no one. You think dissociating with someone because of their behavior is equivalent to hate?? Nice logic you got there, NOT.
God does not want us to associate with willing and unrepentant sinners, either.
If I had a child, I would do everything in my power to keep them away from anybody I don’t want them to associate with, and teaching them right from wrong. That’s called good parenting.
I see you like playing the “hate/biggot” card.(BTW, it’s bigot,not “biggot”). Just like the left. Would you call me a racist because I don’t support “Affirmative Action” or “reparations”? Or illegal immigration??
Face it, the left will attack conservatives no matter what. They will always make up stuff. Conservatives should not have to restrain our beliefs and what/how we express it just because of how the left will portray us. Yet, so many like you, do and think we should constantly be on the defensive,apologizing and go soft. That is why the left is winning.
Are schools saturated with “Alcoholics Month”? “Famous Dope Smokers from History”? Dope smoking and alcohol guzzling counselors that tell kids to try them? Health classes (and other non-related classes) teaching them that they should “celebrate” alcoholics and dope smokers? Are kids forced to attend assmeblies with active alkies and dopers glorifying their “lifestyles”?
There is a gulf of difference because toking up and guzzling alcohol are not taught to children as worthy behaviors, but kids ARE taught in schools (K-12), media, goverment, etc that sodomy is not only a worthy behavior but that anyone who says differently is Evil. No opposing viewpoints allowed.
At this point I cut no slack for anyone who supports the homo agenda out of ignorance. There is no excuse for not being informed. There are two sides of this issue:
1. A person is aware of the homosexual agenda and hates it because it means not only destruction of our Constitutional freedoms of religion, speech and assocation, but because it is ruining the lives of many children, weakening the military, and forcing society into a downward spiral of gross immorality.
2. A person is aware of the homosexual agenda but thinks it’s a good thing.
No one on FR can pretend ignorance of the highly destructive totalitarian nature of the homosexual agenda any more.
Kids should be protected from TV shows that promote the lie that "gay is good". If the child didn't see that stuff she would not be influenced, better kids know about such things when they are older and have learned more about right and wrong.
How can you separate people from what they believe, what they say, what they do, or what they support? That's how you choose friends, close friends, spouses; who to closely associate with, who to remain polite but distant, and who to cross the street when you see them coming.
I have ultra liberal leftist family members who used to (when I visited them) continually act confontational and purposely state their beliefs and an agressive manner. If I ever, even once, spoke one word of polite dissent, it was Civil War 2. One of the main topics that destroyed my relationship with them was homosexuality. I never, ever talked about it - but they just knew I was opposed to the homo agenda. So they would shove it in my face as a weapon. I had always tried to be polite and respectful to family members even though they held views diatmetrically opposite from mine, but to no avail.
It’s sad how many “conservatives” or supposed “conservatives” subtlely support the queer agenda, whether they know it or not.
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