Nice one
“Signs You Are an Elementary School Teacher”
You are probably an elementary school teacher if:
~ You ask guests if they have remembered their scarves and mittens as they leave your home.
~ You move your dinner partner’s glass away from the edge of the table.
~ You ask if anyone needs to go to the bathroom as you enter a theater with a group of friends.
~ You hand a tissue to anyone who sneezes.
~ You declare “no cuts” when a shopper squeezes ahead of you in a checkout line.
~ You ask “Are you sure you did your best?” to the mechanic who fails to repair your car to your satisfaction.
~ You sing the “Alphabet Song” to yourself as you look up a number in the phone book.
~ You say everything twice. I mean, you repeat everything.
Illustration
“Self-Righteous Perceptions”
A man sees another leaning against the wall of a large building. The second man is puffing away, one cigarette after another.
The nonsmoker says, “Sir, I couldn’t help noticing how you chain-smoke. How many packs do you smoke a day?”
“Four.”
“How long have you been smoking?”
“Thirty years.”
“That’s over six thousand packs. Why, if you didn’t smoke, you could have saved enough money to buy this building.”
The smoker takes a deep puff and says, “Do you smoke?”
“Never.”
“Do you own this building?”
“No.”
“Well, I do.”