An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.”
The gentleman replied, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”
Old Codger
An old guy (not in the best of shape) was working out in the gym when he spotted a sweet young thing.
He asked the trainer that was nearby, “What machine in here should I use to impress that sweet young thing over there?”
The trainer looked him up and down and said, “I’d try the ATM machine out in the lobby.”