After Judge Judy Sheindlin's recent health scare, we're so glad to hear that she's out of the hospital and feeling better. We don't know what we would do without her quick wit and sharp tongue!
From calling out liars to sharing her grandmother's best advice with those under oath, here are a few of our favorite Judge Judy quotes:
1. Judge Judy: "What do you do for a living, Sir?"
Defendant: "Um..."
Judge Judy: "'Um' is not an answer! What kind of training did you need to do 'Um?'"
2. "I'm here because I'm smart, not because I'm young and gorgeous...although I am!"
3. "Women do stupid things when they're in love. That's why I've been in business for [twelve] years."
4. "So you didn't feel the need to file taxes last year, huh? That's very interesting; I'll make sure the IRS receives a copy of this tape."
5. "My grandmother always told me; beauty fades, but dumb is forever!"
6. "Personally, I don't find you as attractive as she did—so I suggest you shut up!"
7. "Don't get too comfortable. This case is not going to take long."
8. "I'm not gonna waste another second on this case. Between the two of you, I doubt I could put together a three-digit IQ."
9. "Sir, don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining."
10. "Don't look up at the heavens. God is not going to help you with this case. Only the truth will set you free."
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Julie said.
"Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."
Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now...
Love, Mom"