John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Julie said.
"Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."
Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now...
Love, Mom"
If this doesn’t cheer you up,
nothing will...
ATT00001
The Honeymoon is over.
You know the honeymoon is over when the comedians start.
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time.
We agree...and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
—Jay Leno
America needs Obama-care like
Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
—Jay Leno
Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s’ THIRD PRIZE (TIE)
new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like
and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
—Conan O’Brien
Q: What does Barack Obama
call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
—Jay Leno
Q: What’s the difference between FIRST PRIZE
Obama’s cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with
tax evaders, blackmailers,
and threats to society.
The other is for housing prisoners.
—David Letterman
Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat
in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink,
who would be saved?
A: America !
—Jimmy Fallon
Q: What’s the difference between SECOND PRIZE
Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
—Jimmy Kimmel
Q: What was the most positive result of THIRD PRIZE (TIE)
the “Cash for Clunkers” program?
A: It took 95% of the
Obama bumper stickers off the road.
—David Letterman