Posted on 01/26/2011 2:41:47 PM PST by Da_Shrimp
Feeling reflective, as recently some friends I thought would last forever have separated and divorced.
It seems so common these days, when people have different agendas; but perhaps all they need to do is listen to each other, remember what they once were like together and work at it a little. And it's really not ardous work, just remembering the little things, day by day, like flowers and being thoughtful.
Pfft, rambling, but this song really brought it home to me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aGcocZgjkg
No joke! That’s what I do, first thing. (if possible, BEFORE the first date)
Good for you!
Didn’t Jesus say “He hates divorce”? I am divorced and I too hate divorce. I see it as a sin and a failure. That is the difference with me and liberals I can commit sin and admit it and say it is not good. They say that is being a hypocrit. I say a hypocrit is one who sins and tries to deny their sin and say sin in O:K.
My statement does not mean there no reasons to divorce. Their are drug abuse, physical abuse and adultry. I’m taking about people who get divorced for selfish reasons. They usually reget it when they really think about it. I really feel bad for children. No matter what adults say it changes their lives forever.
I empathize with you- My prayers to you in your situation I believe there is nothing stronger than prayer. All of my foreign wife’s friends 4/5 are now considering divorces as is she (so, foreign is not better and may be worse as the tug for home is stronger and home is farther). This economy has strained the financial ties that bind and when the pair is not equally yoked and moving in the same direction it is especially hard. You sound like a very good Christian woman and you must know Psalm 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: In my mind I have 2 scripts/stories waiting to be written to counter the current cultural “norming” of divorce or walking away as an easy fix. And at the same time I worry only about the effect of divorce on our children- and yet I know that for me the following applies- Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose.
I believe that you are not alone and shall not live alone. Peace be with you...
Siouxz, your replies have been such a blesssing. I’m nearly 50 myself and never pictured myself in this situation. I’m starting tech school in April to be a paralegal. I want to be the person who says to a dumped middle aged housewife, “you don’t believe me now but you will be OK” just like my lawyer’s legal assistant said to me.
I’m very impressed with what you have accomplished! My daughter is very proud of me for what I am about to do! She wants me to move to East TN to be close to her and her husband and their babies but she understands that I won’t do it until I can support myself.
I don’t want to be a woman who is bitter and tries to screw her ex in court. That’s why I’m going to school. I want to tell these women that they can do it themselves.
I’m not in America, but I did marry a foreign lady anyway ;-) Married for 15 years next week to an amazing Polish lady.
Again, so sorry. I was just contemplative when I posted this late last night (late on this side of the Atlantic anyway) and it seems to have triggered a fair amount of response! I really wish you the best for the future.
This guy has a unique gift for understanding:
Watch as many videos of him as you can find (yes he does sell stuff but he gives a lot for free and he is unique.)
There’s a lot to it but it boils down to making them chase you, breaking the pattern by getting in shape and looking the best you can, and then carefully making your moves.
Thank you!
Those are some interesting points about socialization. I know from personal experience that there are unique dynamics in small schools - particuarly private K-12 schools.
Often there are a number of students who have literally gone to school with each other for 12 years. Even if they aren’t friends, they recognize each other’s parents and siblings. When that happens, those boys and girls rarely become attracted to each other in high school. I attribute it to the excessive familiarity.
In any case, I’d say high school dating has little to do with mate selection. Most married couples I know met in college or through their employment.
The “excessive familiarity” is likely something like a psychological-biological effect, that “you closely associate with these children, so they are family, and you shouldn’t marry them.”
I also like to mention that there is a big difference between this kind of socialization and what socialists call socialization. This is strictly so that children learn about each other and are comfortable in social situations. It has nothing at all to do with being “good members of the state”, and “cooperative group activities” being better than individual initiative and effort, or “competition bad, cooperation good.”
My only regret was not divorcing the two-timing b#*ch sooner.
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