Its a joke where split lip and black eye are interchangeable. Although a joke, mostly men tell it to other men. Sorry if you didn’t get that it was a joke and found it offensive. Women generally do fail to see the humor in that one. I thought the words “seriously though” in my post would have indicated, to even the most humorless readers that, up to that point, I was not being serious. Fortunately, I’ve “had” the same good woman for almost 20 years. She’s upstairs right in the kitchen where she belongs. (joking again). Regards.
I didn’t find it offensive. Being a sailor, my Husband says stuff like this as a joke knowing that if he were to ever try it he would only try it ONCE.
I was, however, offended that you think Martha Stewart is attractive.