When I was 16, me and 6 friends were packed into a car, cruising slowly down the usually teenage drag in the small town we grew up in. All of a sudden this middle aged fellow in suit steps out into the road and starts yelling at us about something, driving too slow and tying up traffic I think. My friend that was driving pulls over as if he is going to speak to the fellow, then when he walks up toward the car, my friend gives him the bird and floors it. What my friend failed to notice, was the "fellow" was a well known local bigwig and a member of the town council at the time. Even being as young and stupid as I was, I knew this probably wasn't going to end well.
Sure enough about 10 minutes later the flashing lights appear behind us. At this point we are begging the driver, Dave, not to say anything stupid, he was intelligent, but had a reputation for being a huge smart ass and having little respect for authority. While we were all panicking, he was just grinning and telling us to be cool. We pull over, and one of the local police comes up and shines his flashlight in our window. "I've had some serious reports that you boys have been causing trouble." "Trouble? Us? What sort of Trouble?" my friend Dave asked in the most innocent tone you could imagine. "Well, you gave someone the finger..." "The finger?" Dave Responded in feigned confusion. Then as if something occurred to him he said, "Ohhh, you must mean the guy in the suit downtown!". "Yes, the one you flipped off." the officer responded. "Oh, I didn't flip him off, I just did this" Dave then proceeded to fly the bird 6 inches from the officers face. The officer was totally silent for about 15 seconds then said, "Son, that's flipping someone off." "Really?!? Dave responded, "I didn't think it was considered a rude gesture unless you crossed you arm and made and upward thrust motion, like they do in those cop movies. I always wave at people and point at things with my middle finger." At this point the cop is looking at Dave like he is trying to decide if he really is a total moron or is just jerking him around. Thankfully, after what seemed like an eternity he incorrectly came to the conclusion that Dave wasn't jerking him around, gave us a brief "be good and drive safe" speech then drove off.
At this point, all of us in the car started breathing again. We were sure after Dave's performance, we would be taking a trip down to the station. All at once, we began yelling at Dave, wanting to know what in the h_ll had possessed him to tell the cop he didn't know what flipping someone off was. Dave, just laughed and said he didn't know it would work, but it was worth it for the chance to fly the bird 6 inches from a cops face and get away with it Scott free.
apillar:
Whoa. You got off way better than al baby.
al baby:
what were you doing if I may ask that resulted in 8 people being handcuffed?
LOL! Best story I’ve heard all year.
So, yep, Mike decided to take it to the next level... illegally passing the offending driver on the right... then to pacing the guy, trying to make eye contact as he yelled obscenities out the window.
Well, the other driver looked over and right when Mike just started to extend his middle finger at the guy... the other driver simultaneously pulls out a sign that said "NEW JERSEY STATE POLICE - OFFICIAL BUSINESS" and pointed angrily at the side of the road for Mike to pull over. Talk about a "D'oh!" moment! Mike slowly retracted his extended middle finger and carefully brought his extended arm back inside his vehicle... all in slow motion like he was trying to defuse a bomb.
Well, while completely tearing into Mike on the side of the road, a whole fleet of NJSP cars shows up as backup (incident happened about 2 miles from a NJSP barracks that was, at this point, unmanned). After ripping Mike apart, the other driver goes back to talk to the responding Troopers... then rushes back to his car and pulls off (NJSP OFFICIAL BUSINESS, no doubt), leaving Mike in the care of the five or six State Troopers.
One of the Troopers walked up to Mike, laughing, and said, "You picked the wrong guy to pull that stunt with! Do you have any idea who that was?!?".
Mike sheepishly replied, "Uh.... No?"
"Dude, that was Colonel Clinton L. Pagano... the HEAD of the New Jersey State Police! Wait here.", the Trooper said as he walked away shaking his head in disbelief.
I only wish I could do the whole story justice... whenever Mike tells the story, it's EPIC and everyone listening is rolling on the floor laughing, regardless of how many times they have heard him tell the story before. Seriously, the story, like most of Mike's tales from his youth, needs to be recorded as part of legend/folklore/oral history.