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I swear to God, I'm mothballing all my certs and becoming a park ranger. And the deeper in the forest, the better.

It won't work. A couple of months ago I applied for an IT manager position at the Lake County Forest Preserve! Once the cell towers went up, it was game over.

Hell's bells, I meant getting out of IT! I don't care if it's fisheries management. I'll sit in a jon boat all day with a dip net and a clipboard, and count sunfish and tadpoles.

"But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: for men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away, for his name is Obama."