Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Do Dogs Know When You Are Making Fun Of Them?

Posted on 06/15/2010 8:39:47 PM PDT by SamAdams76

Okay, so here it is the middle of June and finally summer appears to have made it to New England. I do like it when I come home after work and do not have to put on jackets and such to go out and walk the dog.

And the deer flies are here. Yes, the deer flies. These are the flies that buzz around your head. Their ultimate goal is apparently to land on the back of your head and suck some of your blood but to be sporting about it, they figure they need to do at least 150 revolutions around your head first. But I got a solution for that, it's called the Tried-Not Deerfly Patch that I put on the back of my golf cap. So when I go out walking, they stick to that tape (instead of sucking my blood) and eventually die because after the walk I hang the cap up in the garage and just leave the flies there to struggle all night in a losing battle to escape. By morning, they are pretty much dead.

This is also the time of year that when you go to the Dunkin Donuts to order coffee, they ask you if you want it "hot" or iced. Well, I always get the hot coffee. It doesn't matter if is is 95 degrees with 90% humidity. I take my coffee hot. I do not like the iced tea. For one thing, too much ice and not enough coffee. For another thing, it will never equal the southern iced tea my grandmother used to make down in Alabama.

Well I just got back from a trip to Las Vegas and boy, is that place hot. But I tell you what, when you go walking around in those casinos on the strip, you wouldn't know it was so hot outside. In fact, you don't even know if it's day or night. Those slot machines sure are noisy. And lots of lights too. I like it when you win on the "Quick Hit" penny machine (max bet) - it lights up with a red border and you hear the whooping noise as it tallies up the payout. Now you can hit any button when it pays out to make it stop but I like to hear it whoop-whoop-whoop until the payout is finished and that can go on for five or ten minutes when you win over $100 which happened to me several times.

Now slot machines, you are going to definitely lose over time. So in order to get myself back to at least break-even, I went over to the blackjack tables. Now I'm pretty good at blackjack. Read all the Ian Anderson books and memorized all those basic strategy tables. But even with all that, best you can do is break-even unless you know how to count cards. You know, like in that Rainman movie.

So before my trip to Vegas, I basically practiced counting cards. I used the basic system where you add a point for 2-6 and subtract a point for 10-A. But I also learned to -2 for a five (worst card for dealer) and +2 for an ace (best card for the player). Now in a six-deck shoe, it gets kind of complicated to count the cards, especially when there are other players at the table, but it can be done if you practice enough. Also, I only played at the $10 and $25 tables so I didn't attract any undue attention by the "eye in the sky".

What do they care if I walk off with a couple hundred bucks at a time? And that's what I pretty much did most of the time. I'd go to the table with $1000 in chips and if I got down to $500, I'd walk away. But if I got to $1250, I'd walk away at $750. And if I got to $1500, I'd walk away at $1,000 (guaranteeing that I'd at least break even) and so on. One time, I got up to $3340 with a $1000 stake because I took a real chance and doubled down on two-nines with $250 on each hand. After I won that, I walked away.

But no matter, my winnings ended up either in the slot machines or at the many restaurants in the strip area. What the heck, I had a great time. Some people blow a few thousand bucks on Disneyland. I blew a few thousand bucks on Vegas. What the heck. And my drinks were free and no whining and hollering kids. So that's a bonus right there.

No hookers though. I'm a married man. Though everytime I went out on the sidewalk, there were all these Latino folks handing out cards with naked girls on them and a 1-800 number. Me, I just bought $12 margaritas and pumped a bunch of cash into the slots. Good thing for the blackjack tables, or I would have been busted by Tuesday (I spent a whole week there).

If you are ever in Las Vegas, there is an excellent breakfast place called the "Egg & I". Awesome breakfast food. There's one right by the airport and after breakfast, I'd hang out there and watch the planes fly right over my head.

Back in New England, nothing but rain and chilly weather. But finally, the weather got mild and sticky these last few days and I think it's time to break out the bathing suit and head to the beach.

Now in New England, the beach is always a great place to cool off because the sea water is ice cold, even in the middle of August. My favorite beach is Hampton Beach which is in New Hampshire and they got all the regular dives there to get a cold brew and a plate of fried clams and such. But what I really like to do is set out a lawn chair, slather on the sunscreen and get into a good book while the waves crash all around me.

I bring some bread to throw around for the seagulls. Many people hate that because they feel that seagulls are rats with wings. Which they probably are, but I like it when they land all around me and fight for the bread.

If it's a hot day, I'll dive into the ocean every hour or so to cool off. But mostly, I'm in the lawn chair reading my book and drinking from my Gatorade bottle which is actually usually full of margaritas. Yes, I know that there is supposed to be no alcohol on the beach but nobody cares because they actually think I am drinking Gatorade. What I do is fill a few Gatorade bottles of margaritas the night before and freeze them overnight so that they are nice and icy when I drink them the next day.

So I'm looking forward to the beach weather and my first "beach book" of the year is going to be "Winston's War" subtitled "Churchill 1940-1945" by Max Hastings. This promises to be an awesome book and I especially like Winston Churchill in general. Later in the beach season, I plan to tackle some Ayn Rand books ("Fountainhead", "We The Living" and "Atlas Shrugged") as even though I've read them a couple of times already, I think the times we currently live in merit me re-reading them once again.

I like Ayn Rand's books in general but they are heavy-handed at times and she really has this weird fascination with men taking women and effectively raping them so I'll skip over those parts. And yes, I'll probably skim quickly through John Galt's 60-page radio speech although Francisco's Money speech is classic and well worth reading slowly and letting every word soak in.

So then, enough beating around the bush, I finally come to my main topic which concerns my dog. Now my dog is a border collie and a very good and loyal dog. Though she does have to go for long walks frequently to burn off energy or she ends up chewing up couches and such (which makes my wife very angry). Excellent dog with good temperament and a penchant for snacking on hunks of cheese, globs of peanut butter and the occasional T-bone steak which I eagerly sneak to her when the wife isn't watching.

But this dog is often made sport of and I wonder if that does not effect the dog's self-esteem in a negative way. For instance, when I announce the I am taking the dog for a walk, she gets very excited and prances about the house, tail-wagging, ears perked up and making these yipping sounds. Everybody else in the family laughs out loud and makes fun of the dog for being so...childish, I guess.

Other times, the dog gets into a frenzy, after all, she is a border collie and full of energy. She will do odd things such as slide around the hardwood floor barking madly at nothing at all. Or my son will send one of those remote-control cars into the living room and the dog will go absolutely nuts, attempting at times to pounce on it and other times dashing behind the couch or a chair for "protection" from this out-of-control toy causing everybody else in the room to laugh at it.

So I wonder, do dogs know when people are making fun of them? If so, is their self-esteem damaged? Or do they not really care at all? I'm hoping that the latter is true.

Also, if you go to Vegas, do not ever go to the "buffets" at the casino. It's worth the extra money to go to one of the many fine restaurants. You are on vacation, dammit, live it up a little. If you want buffet, you can stay home and go eat at some lame "all-you-can-eat" restaurant.

Top Five Casinos in Vegas are as follows: Bellagios, Caesars Palace, New York New York, Treasure Island and the Luxor. I slaughtered the blackjack tables at every one of them and I spent my winnings at several of their fine restaurants (not to mention their slot machines).

I wanted to play craps but couldn't figure the damn game out.


TOPICS: UFO's
KEYWORDS:
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-32 last
To: Yardstick

I know a guy who drove his dog crazy.

Named him “Stay”....

HERE! STAY
HERE! STAY
HERE! STAY

etc...


21 posted on 06/15/2010 9:53:59 PM PDT by xrmusn ((6/98 ) FIRE ALL INCUMBENTS)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: xrmusn
Reminds me of one of those Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy:

"The crows seem to be calling my name," thought Caw.

22 posted on 06/15/2010 9:57:54 PM PDT by Yardstick
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: SamAdams76

Michigans upper pen. has those nasty deer flys and one year while camping in the Upper, I asked a person in town how they stand living with the deer fly...He said they use vicks vapor rub on their foreheads and the back of their necks...tried it, it works....those nasty buggers want your blood real bad and their bite hurts...


23 posted on 06/15/2010 11:01:58 PM PDT by goat granny
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Natural Born 54

Sweet dogs, my daughter has a black standard named Blue and a blonde that is called stupie, short for stupid...her real name is Maisy. The black one has the sweetest personality and the other one is a blonde, what more can I say...(running from blondes right now)


24 posted on 06/15/2010 11:05:47 PM PDT by goat granny
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: SamAdams76
They know.

And soon will you when they bite your hand.

25 posted on 06/15/2010 11:10:46 PM PDT by chemicalman (Fed Gov only good for one thing. Building monuments.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: SamAdams76

Dunno about dogs but (some) cats do...if I ask my tabby boy if he wants me to give him a kiss or play with his jelly roll he gives me the most offended look and flounces off. Course, this is the same cat who flops over and LETS me rub his big ol tummy when he wants it, so...


26 posted on 06/16/2010 12:02:19 AM PDT by Fire_on_High (Trijicon, the scope of CRUSADERS!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: goat granny

Thanks. Lots of folks make fun of poodles. We just love them. The standards have the greatest personalities and I can’t imagine life without them. No blonds here - go granny!


27 posted on 06/16/2010 12:29:42 AM PDT by Natural Born 54 (FUBO x 10)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]

To: goat granny

Great tip. Deer flies are right after black flies on my list of bugs to hate. I like the smell of Vicks and will use this idea first time we go mushroom picking in the woods. Thanks.


28 posted on 06/16/2010 12:33:11 AM PDT by Natural Born 54 (FUBO x 10)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 23 | View Replies]

To: Natural Born 54
I also had a big dead doe at the far end of my property. 80degrees out and you would throw up if you got within 20 feet of it while cutting grass...I went up to the elevator and bought 2 50 pounds bags of sweet lime...The guy at the elevator told me I could get close enought to the deer to spread the lime. I just had to put Vicks under my nose...Worked great on neutralizing the smell of decomposing flesh. Couldn't smell it at all and was able to shovel the 50 pound bag onto the carcass.

The quick lime kills the bacteria that cause the stink. It just kind of dries out the deer but it takes all summer...No smells tho....

29 posted on 06/16/2010 1:38:06 AM PDT by goat granny
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 28 | View Replies]

To: SamAdams76
My JRT knows and also shows signs of more intelligence then the AKOTUS!
30 posted on 06/16/2010 4:57:56 AM PDT by 4everontheRight ("America is good. And if America ever ceases to be good, America will cease to be great." Tocquevill)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: goat granny

Thanks for the tip on the Vicks Vapor Rub, I’ll give it a try. I use the strips but it grosses a lot of people out to see me walking around with a bunch of dead bugs stuck to the back of my head.


31 posted on 06/17/2010 10:17:14 AM PDT by SamAdams76 (I am 64 days away from outliving Francis Gary Powers)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 23 | View Replies]

To: SamAdams76

Thank you for the great laugh...it hit out of the blue.:O)>P?

I have a beautiful picture of you in my mind with bugs stuck to the back of your head. Don’t worry, I made you handsome


32 posted on 06/17/2010 10:27:39 AM PDT by goat granny
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 31 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-32 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson