I never looked at it that way, but boy is that TRUE. He is impossible to reach; he is always in his fortress. He can’t act, he only RE-acts to things.
That is a very sad way to live.
I had a man I was going to marry (yes, I am a she) but he was addicted to pot. As I discovered after I fell in “love” (”fall” being the operative word...). He would not/could not stop smoking it daily.
Trying to have an actual relationship with him ruined about 3 years of my life or more, I hate remembering those times.
If you are alone in a room with an addict, there is you, the addict, and the drug/booze whatever it is. That drug is always there, the addict is embracing that stuff and won’t let go.
The good part is we can be free of the poisoned relationship. In”toxic”ation. It’s poison.
Life is exciting when we live it as is without the substance/addict, and you will look back and feel so much lighter and freer. You can’t help a drowning person who refuses to be saved.