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Bigfoot Mating Season Underway In Florida Everglades
FlashNews ^
| May 13, 2010
| Unknown
Posted on 05/19/2010 3:03:57 AM PDT by shibumi
OCHOPEE, Fla. (Wireless Flash - FlashNews) – Bigfoot mating season is underway in the Florida Everglades and the furry, horny creature is out for blood. Dave Shealy, an RV park owner in Ochopee, Florida, is the leading researcher of the Skunk Ape, Bigfoot’s “smaller, smellier cousin.”
He says there are seven to nine Skunk Apes currently living in the Everglades and right now is the best time to spot one because it’s their mating season.
Lately, he’s heard lots of campers report strange sounds coming from the swamps. He figures it’s the Skunk Ape’s mating call, which sounds like a low-pitched dove cooing.
Though Skunk Apes are generally shy, Shealy says women on their periods should be careful when hiking the area because the cryptoids are attracted to the scent of menstruation.
They’re also aroused by used lingerie, so female campers shouldn’t hang their panties out to dry because, in his words, “That’s like raising a flag and inviting them in.”
© Copyright 2010 Wireless Flash News Inc
TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Local News; Science; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: bigfoot; cryptobiology; napl; sasquatch; skunkape
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Artist Rendering of the suspect Bigfoor at link.
1
posted on
05/19/2010 3:03:57 AM PDT
by
shibumi
To: shibumi; Slings and Arrows; Salamander; Markos33; JoeProBono
Because-the-World-Needs-to-Know-Ping
2
posted on
05/19/2010 3:07:23 AM PDT
by
shibumi
(Pablo (the Wily One) signed up for the "Hippo Attack" ping list!)
To: shibumi
To: humblegunner; Eaker; Allegra
Pablo’s on the loose in Florida.
4
posted on
05/19/2010 3:10:41 AM PDT
by
shibumi
(Pablo (the Wily One) signed up for the "Hippo Attack" ping list!)
To: shibumi
They’re also aroused by used lingerie, so female campers shouldn’t hang their panties out to dry because, in his words, “That’s like raising a flag and inviting them in.” Bubba??
5
posted on
05/19/2010 3:12:02 AM PDT
by
Hardraade
(I want gigaton warheads now!!)
To: goseminoles
It's the dang snowbirds!
6
posted on
05/19/2010 3:16:56 AM PDT
by
Daffynition
("Play it, Sam, for old times' sake, play 'As Time Goes By'.")
To: Hardraade
Blue cocktail dresses are also taboo.
7
posted on
05/19/2010 3:17:00 AM PDT
by
shibumi
(Pablo (the Wily One) signed up for the "Hippo Attack" ping list!)
To: shibumi
8
posted on
05/19/2010 3:19:11 AM PDT
by
mylife
(Opinions: $1 Halfbaked: 50c)
To: shibumi
9
posted on
05/19/2010 3:20:51 AM PDT
by
hawkeye101
(Electing lawyers to political office is like hiring a raging alcoholic to run your bar!)
To: shibumi
female campers shouldn’t hang their panties out to dry If I didn't already have a tagline....
10
posted on
05/19/2010 3:39:44 AM PDT
by
humblegunner
(Pablo is very wily)
To: hawkeye101
Are you insinuating that Bigfoot did not keep a lumber jack as a love slave? Have you no decency?
11
posted on
05/19/2010 3:47:33 AM PDT
by
999replies
(Thune/Rubio 2012)
To: shibumi
They’re also aroused by used lingerie, so female campers shouldn’t hang their panties out to dry because, in his words, “That’s like raising a flag and inviting them in.” 
12
posted on
05/19/2010 3:48:07 AM PDT
by
Jonah Hex
("Never underestimate the hungover side of the Force.")
To: shibumi
13
posted on
05/19/2010 3:50:11 AM PDT
by
Salamander
(Paint on my cruel or happy face. Hide me behind it.)
To: shibumi
What if a Skunk Ape is gay?
14
posted on
05/19/2010 3:56:46 AM PDT
by
Rebelbase
(Don't think of work as 5 days on, 2 days off. Instead think 4 nights on, 3 off.)
To: Rebelbase
Then he and his “partner” should never visit Malawi.
15
posted on
05/19/2010 4:00:15 AM PDT
by
shibumi
(Pablo (the Wily One) signed up for the "Hippo Attack" ping list!)
To: Rebelbase
What if a Skunk Ape is gay? There's always South Beach.
To: Jonah Hex
Looks like Florida State could use some help in English Comp as well.
17
posted on
05/19/2010 4:02:10 AM PDT
by
shibumi
(Pablo (the Wily One) signed up for the "Hippo Attack" ping list!)
To: shibumi
The artist rendering of the skunk ape looks suspiciously like “beer looter guy” from hurricane Katrina...
18
posted on
05/19/2010 4:03:32 AM PDT
by
apillar
To: shibumi
female campers shouldn’t hang their panties out to dry because, in his words, “That’s like raising a flag and inviting them in.”
Sometimes there's just too much information in an article.
19
posted on
05/19/2010 4:05:24 AM PDT
by
Condor51
(SAT CONG!)
To: apillar
Hmmmmm.....
“Skunk”?
“Heineken”?
It fits.
20
posted on
05/19/2010 4:07:03 AM PDT
by
shibumi
(Pablo (the Wily One) signed up for the "Hippo Attack" ping list!)
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