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~*~*~ThE oFfIcIaL fRiDaY sIlLiNeSs ThReAd~*~*~

Posted on 03/19/2010 5:18:24 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Edited on 03/19/2010 10:42:01 AM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]



How fitting.......It's POULTRY DAY!!


Poultry Day celebrates chicken, turkey and other birds we commonly consume. Chicken and turkey are lower in fats, and cholesterol than other meats, making it better for your health. They also give you your breakfast eggs.

We can also take into account all the chickens in our government, who hide out at the capital, afraid to go home and see their constituents, afraid to face WE THE PEOPLE, and who won't stand up against this tyrannical agenda and vote no on the BS Health Care bill. And let's not forget about all the turkeys in our government, who are supporting and pushing it.


But I digress.....

Most famous Chicken: Looney Tune's Foghorn leghorn. Although Republicans are coming in as a close second.

Chicken Philosophy: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?


Zebediah was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.

Zeb kept records, and any rooster that didn't perform well went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of Zeb's time; so, Zeb got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

Each bell had a different tone so that Zeb could tell, from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

Zeb's favorite rooster was old Barack. A very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning, Zeb noticed that Barack's bell had not rung at all!!

Zeb went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing! The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

BUT, to Zeb's amazement, Barack had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Zeb was so proud of Barack that he entered him in the county fair. Barack was an overnight sensation. The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Piece Prize but also the Pullet surprise.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Here it goes...


BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOE BIDEN: This is the first mainstream chicken that is articulate and bright and clean and has a nice-looking pullet.

JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

SARAH PALIN: You betcha he crossed the road, but let's not talk about that, let's talk about energy policy, and how gosh darn hard it is for a middle-class hockey mom to manage the budget of the only state in America with a massive surplus, especially while surrounded by countless Russian and Canadian chickens we have to keep an eye on.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! – that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken...What is your definition of crossing?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain... alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?




A blonde chicken was standing at the side of a river, no bridge to be seen in either direction. Another chicken on the opposite side shouts across, "How do you get to the other side" Blonde chicken looks up and down a bit bemused, then shouts back, "I am on the other side"





TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: chicken; freepun; ofst; silliness
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Your Power Bird is a Vulture
You are always changing your life and the lives of those around you.
You aren't afraid to move on from what holds you back.
Energetic and powerful, you have a nearly unlimited capacity for success.
You know how to "go with the flow" and take advantage of what is given to you.
What's Your Power Bird?
Blogthings: Quizzes and Tests and Memes, Oh My!

1 posted on 03/19/2010 5:18:24 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
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To: Lucky9teen

IBTP?


2 posted on 03/19/2010 5:19:16 AM PDT by Pan_Yan
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To: Lucky9teen

hah! in before the ping!


3 posted on 03/19/2010 5:19:22 AM PDT by holly go-rightly
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To: Lucky9teen

In early?


4 posted on 03/19/2010 5:19:32 AM PDT by CPOSharky ("Obama the Timid. " Pass it on.)
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; ...



ON TO FRIDAY SILLINESS


CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST
This is all fowl play. I've been hunting and pecking for funny things to say, but my yolks aren't what they're cracked up to be. Oh well, I didn't want to put all my eggs in one basket, anyway.  

Anyone else got any more? You know what they say about birds of a feather...

Oh, and I accidentally over rode my ping list, so I'm using an old one and if you did not get pinged and want to, please FReepmail me.

5 posted on 03/19/2010 5:22:33 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (If politicians had to live by the rules they make, there would be different rules.)
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To: TresCatholique

Pingaling


6 posted on 03/19/2010 5:26:09 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (If politicians had to live by the rules they make, there would be different rules.)
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To: Lucky9teen

In the top ten baby!!


7 posted on 03/19/2010 5:27:52 AM PDT by wyokostur
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To: Lucky9teen

Can’t contribute much today-feeling a bit scrambled...HA!


8 posted on 03/19/2010 5:28:45 AM PDT by homegroan (*Vote Kitteh & Squirrel 2012*!....ILLIGITIMA NON CARBORUNDUM..... -that's 4U Dad!))
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To: Lucky9teen

9 posted on 03/19/2010 5:29:14 AM PDT by Bean Counter (I keeps mah feathers numbered, for just such an emergency...)
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To: Lucky9teen

top ten woot!


10 posted on 03/19/2010 5:29:15 AM PDT by marine86297 (I'll never forgive Clinton for Somalia, my blood is on his hands)
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To: Lucky9teen
Your Power Bird is an Eagle
You are spiritual and able to soar to great heights.
You are a true inspiration, and many people look to you for guidance.
And you are quite demanding in relationships... but you're worth it.
People know that you will become even greater than you imagine.
What's Your Power Bird?
The First Rule of Blogthings Is: You Don't Talk About Blogthings

11 posted on 03/19/2010 5:29:15 AM PDT by HuntsvilleTxVeteran ((B.?) Hussein (Obama?Soetoro?Dunham?) Change America Will Die From.)
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To: Lucky9teen

My power bird is a PEEP...

(challenged at posting pics)

SZQ


12 posted on 03/19/2010 5:29:57 AM PDT by homegroan (*Vote Kitteh & Squirrel 2012*!....ILLIGITIMA NON CARBORUNDUM..... -that's 4U Dad!))
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To: Lucky9teen
2 + 2 = Chicken Pictures, Images and Photos
13 posted on 03/19/2010 5:30:47 AM PDT by marine86297 (I'll never forgive Clinton for Somalia, my blood is on his hands)
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To: Lucky9teen

Woohoo!


14 posted on 03/19/2010 5:31:59 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Lucky9teen
exploding chicken Pictures, Images and Photos
15 posted on 03/19/2010 5:32:10 AM PDT by marine86297 (I'll never forgive Clinton for Somalia, my blood is on his hands)
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To: Lucky9teen

16 posted on 03/19/2010 5:33:09 AM PDT by TSgt (RE-ELECT NOBODY - VOTE THEM ALL OUT!)
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To: Lucky9teen

17 posted on 03/19/2010 5:34:39 AM PDT by TSgt (RE-ELECT NOBODY - VOTE THEM ALL OUT!)
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To: Lucky9teen
A California cosmetic surgery practice is opening a new office where breast augmentation surgery is done on an outpatient basis in about 30 minutes.

... They are going to call the practice, "Jiffy Boob."

18 posted on 03/19/2010 5:36:17 AM PDT by tomkow6 (...................TOMKOW6 ! The ONLY voice of reason & sanity in a chaotic Canteen!...............)
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To: Lucky9teen

19 posted on 03/19/2010 5:36:32 AM PDT by TSgt (RE-ELECT NOBODY - VOTE THEM ALL OUT!)
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To: Lucky9teen

20 posted on 03/19/2010 5:37:52 AM PDT by TSgt (RE-ELECT NOBODY - VOTE THEM ALL OUT!)
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