reminds me of a conductor I had years ago...he was addressing a lass that thought she was GODs gift to the cello......and he said to her (and I quote) “My dear, you have the mose beautiful instrument in the world between your legs, and all you can seem to do is scratch on it!”
In college band we had a solo clarinet that thought the same thing. Once when she kept missing her entrance, the conductor said: “Shelia, want do you want to enter, an engraved invitation”?