Posted on 01/06/2010 9:42:42 AM PST by ctdonath2
In the spirit of the current thread "Best Films of all Time?", I just have to ask for the other end of the spectrum.
I don't mean "Night of the Lupus", "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes", or other standard bad/forgettable films. I don't mean just box-office flops. I want to see tour-de-force bad.
Word is there is a re-cut edition of Highlander II which, with creative editing, turns the movie into something completely different. I am fascinated by the notion that editing can so deeply change a movie, yet am repulsed by the prospect of returning to such awful material.
“Big Fish” and “The Royal Tennebaums”. Would rather lose my left testicle then have to watch those again.
So much hype. My wife and kids...brother...so many others. I sat down to watch (the copy my wife just bought) and made it thru about 10 minutes before leaving to do dishes. They still love it, I still haven't sat thru it.
'Three Kings' with George Clooney - I hated that movie.
Aeon Flux is another stinker like that. I was bored to tears, which for a supposed ‘action’ movie, is never a good thing. One of the few movies I rented and turned off.
As I said, some parts of the movie were good, but after he was rescued, I found myself just not caring. If maybe they had spent more time, during the middle letting us get to know the girlfriend maybe it would have been different, but I was just so bored at the end.
The Beast of Yucca Flats.
Starship Troopers: based on the back cover of a novel by Robert Heinlein.
Six-String Samurai.
I don't think we were really supposed to care about the girlfriend, other than to see what they had previously together. That's really all we needed to know.
Like you said...the movie was about him.
Sweet.
Not only did King love that abomination of an ending, he wished death on anyone who revealed it.
I was always a King fan, but he’s become a major, major a**hole in recent years. I won’t part with one dime for anything else with his name on it ever again.
"All through the next course Lord Randolph didn't speak a word. As the game was being taken round, the footman noticed that it was not properly cut, so he passed Lord Randolph quickly to get it dispieced at the sideboard. At once Randolph pointing with outstretched hand, squealed out as if in pain, "E-e-e-e-e-e!"
"What is it, Lord Randolph?" asked the host in utter solicitude.
"E-e-e-e!" He repeated the high squeal, which pointing with his finger after the footman. "I want that--e-e-e!" Some of that --e-e!"
"It shall be brought back," said Sir Henry. "I'm very glad you like it."
The grouse was brought back: Randolph helped himself and began to eat greedily. Suddenly he stopped, put down the knife and fork and glared at each face round the table, apparently suspecting that his strange behavior had been remarked. He was insane, that was clear."
- Frank Harris, My Life and Loves
I am sure that Waterworld and The Postman have been mentioned.
However, for sheer stupidity, boredom and "WTF were they thinking when they made this..." may I suggest the following in order:
The Crying Game - watched until Wee Willie admitted to having a winky.
Da- Martin Sheen's most epic failure, and that's saying a lot, was finally turned off after 30 minutes of "It probably gets better" , "Hopefully it gets better" , "Didn't they realize it was dog crap when they were making it?"
And the single worst film of all time which was watched to the end, therefore making it the worst in terms of prolonged agony: Beaches.
I thought The Mist was pretty good, Up until the last 4 minutes that is.
I hated this movie. I had heard what a great movie it was, and looked forward to watching it, but when I did, I HATED it!
I could not get over the whole premise that having an affair was a good thing. I really just wanted to slap that woman.
I went to the mall to see it alone.
I didn’t even need any convincing to leave, Unlike Alien 3 where for some strange reason i stayed when my buds all walked out.
Alien 3, A movie where the ENTIRE dialog was a low mumble.
I had no idea what was going on and i should have walked out too.
Uh oh! I just added ‘9’ to my netflix queue, thinking it looked interesting.
But after reading your review (”sucked giant moose nuts”) I am now having second thoughts...
I agree about The Thing With Two Heads. In terms of plot, it was hideous, but it was just so out there it was amusing to watch. Seeing Rosie and Ray cheek to cheek just didn’t get old. ROFL. The best part was definitely the motorcycle chase, though it did seem to drag on for about 20 minutes.
Aeon flux was just bad. Ultraviolet was ridiculous. There was no plot, there were constant contradictions...OMG!!!She's a vampire with the phage, it's a sickness...yeah, a sickness that turns you into superwoman with no discernible ill effects. On and on, and one it's HORRENDOUS. I even bothered to post a review of that POS on the Ultraviolet IMDB page in July 06...
Here's what I posted:
Ultra-Unwatchable.
Lots of spoilers.....
Woman carries case into secure facility, apparently morphing and fooling all the sensors to detect such a creature...gets in...uses guns in case to shoot all the guys who have their gun sites on her. OK. Fine. It's a movie.
Then as she escapes, gets 6 guns right at her head. Oh, wait, she manifested a blade and chopped them all up, but they are frozen in the pose. OK, well, getting silly.
More folks start shooting at her, she manifests a gun and shoots back. OK, at this point, why isn't she manifesting a time machine and killing these "cops's" parents. Why carry a case into the facility if she can just manifest them from the thin air?
OK, here come the Helicopters with gatlin guns that apparently don't know how to lead someone on a motorcycle. Oh, but wait, she's on the SIDE of the building, she's got some kind of GRAV alteration machine. Forget that a horizontal bike offers a bigger target, the director apparently forgot that if you can manipulate gravity, who gives a damn about a building. Why isn't she's doing a Buck Rogers and flying off to the moon. Oh wait, here comes the end of the building, oh no! She's gonna fly off! No, she'll just drive on a flat surface then launch upward, into the gatlin gun fire, fly through the helicopter and kill the shooters.
OK. I get it. She's invincible, or at least as the plot requires. I mean, why bother with any of the "science" explanations "She must have a grav machine" or "they must use some N-space tech" or some other nonsense mumbo-jumbo.
Then she's got a boy to protect or something or other. She's all worried that they won't make it or some such. The acting was so stupid, who knew. At any rate, why does someone who can make any weapon on demand, dodge 1000 rounds a minute and alter gravity worried about "them". Ugh.
Dumbest movie ever. DO NOT watch this dreck.
Lynch refused to let his name be associated with later edits and they were released under the official Directors Guild generic pseudonym of “Alan Smithee.”
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.