What do these things have in common?
Posted on 10/09/2009 5:51:00 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Yea!! I missed the IBTP, though.
Woo Hoo, top ten silliness!
Happy Friday Lucky !
Did I make it?
Top ten...??
LOL ...that’s a KEEPER! ...IGnobley speaking. ;-P
The first one reminds me of my old job.
What a complete nincompoop he is.
That ain’t helping.
A blonde city girl named Amy marries a Colorado
rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the
cows, the rancher says to Amy, “The insemination man is
coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove
a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow’s stall
is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is when he
gets here, OK?”
The rancher leaves for the fields. After a while, the
artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front
door.
Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk
along the row of cows and when Amy sees the nail, she tells
him, “This is the one right here.”
The man, assuming he is dealing with an air head blonde,
asks, “Tell me lady, ‘cause I’m dying to know;
how would YOU know that this is the right cow to be
bred?”
“That’s simple,” she said. “By the nail that’s over its stall,” she
explains very confidently.
Laughing rudely at her, the man says, “And what, pray tell, is the nail for?”
The blonde turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder, “I guess it’s to hang your pants on.”
I’ve learned....
That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I’ve learned....
That we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.
I’ve learned....
That money doesn’t buy class..
I’ve learned....
That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I’ve learned...
That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I’ve learned....
That the Lord didn’t do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?
I’ve learned....
That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I’ve learned....
That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I’ve learned.....
That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I’ve learned....
That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
I’ve learned....
That there’s nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.
I’ve learned....
That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I’ve learned...
That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
I’ve learned...
That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
I’ve learned.....
That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I’ve learned...
That I wish I could have told those I cared about that I love them one more time before they passed away.
I’ve learned.....!
That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I’ve learned....
That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I’ve learned....
That I can’t choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.
I’ve learned....
That when your newly born child holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.
I’ve learned....
That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.
I’ve learned .
That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation.
I’ve learned....
That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
Noted progressives, all.
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