Posted on 08/11/2009 5:13:59 PM PDT by chasio649
The differences between men and women surround us in our daily lives — especially in the media. Recent movies such as “He’s Just Not That into You” and “The Ugly Truth” only highlight these differences and affirm the belief that men and women behave like two different species. This means that dating standards for a new generation of college students are much different than those of their parents, as well as the gender and social roles associated with men and women.
The modern media rarely shows the smart, hardworking, patriarchal man played by classic Hollywood actors such as Humphrey Bogart, Robert Redford and even Woody Allen. As a result, two new stereotypes were born: the powerful and successful “alpha-female,” and the immature “man-child.” Does the rise of these two stereotypes indicate that women are now forced to lower their dating standards?
A recent phone call from my close friend illustrated the man-child stereotype. When I asked her about her new boyfriend whom she met through her job at a local credit union, she responded with an exasperated sigh. She then spent the next 30 minutes explaining that she was sick of hanging out in his messy room and was tired of spending her Saturday nights sitting beside him while he played Xbox and watched ESPN. She ranted about the fact that she could no longer stand to look at his screensavers of Megan Fox and Scarlett Johansson. She ended the conversation with an interesting remark: “he’s 26 years old and acts like a 15-year-old boy.”
This man-child stereotype appears to be a new cultural phenomenon. Movies such as “Knocked Up,” “Pineapple Express” and “Harold and Kumar” not only depict men as immature — they glamorize it. The protagonists in these movies are unemployed, stoners, slackers or a combination of the three. However, they always manage to somehow land a smoking-hot woman (usually an alpha-female) and save the day.
While these movies are undoubtedly funny and entertaining, their core suggests a somewhat disturbing trend in society — particularly the younger generation. Perhaps part of their success is due to the fact that most men secretly fantasize about being in a perpetual state of adolescence, even women notice the similarities of the men onscreen with the men they know.
The alpha-female stereotype is the foil to the man-child: she is successful, career oriented, well-educated and uptight. For example, Katherine Heigl’s character in “Knocked Up” is an alpha-female, as is the snarky mother of eight from “Jon and Kate Plus 8,” Kate Gosselin, whose divorce from ultimate man-child Jon Gosselin (who now lives the bachelor life and owns a lifetime supply of embarrassingly adolescent Ed Hardy T-shirts) has been splashed all over headlines for the past month. However, are these stereotypes rooted in truth? If they are, what does this mean for dating and women’s standards?
In his 2008 book titled “Men to Boys: The Making of Modern Immaturity,” author and Professor of modern history at Penn State University, Gary Cross, calls men of our generation “boy-men.” He explores this new phenomenon as well as today’s youth culture and its effect on men. Cross also explores the fact that the nuclear family, as well as the patriarchal society that accompanied the family of the past, has collapsed and given way to more single-parent families and children born out of wedlock.
As women’s roles take on more responsibility, it seems that men reject the male roles of the past by prolonging the responsibilities that accompany them. Cross explains this phenomenon as a reaction to previous male roles.
A 2006 article in The New York Times echoes the sentiment of Cross, reporting that many universities across the country are enrolling more women than men. It also reported that college-age men spent more time socializing than women, and were more likely to come to class unprepared. The article published research from the UCLA Higher Education Research Institute, which reported that men were also more likely to skip class and not turn in assignments on time.
While these findings may appear grim or display anti-male sentiment, they do not speak for the entire population of college men. All men are not boy-men, nor are most women alpha-females. This research does, however, highlight a rising cultural trend that warrants further exploration.
With the rise of the alpha-female and man-child stereotypes, it is clear that women and men appear to be on different levels. However, this may just be because men and women have differing ideas of what is fun. While many men do engage in activities that baffle women, they can still function as mature, responsible adults — and women can be adult enough to accept the fact that moments of childish fun (e.g. Xbox) do not represent men as a whole.
Like most characters in comedy films, the man-child and alpha-female are exaggerations of select characteristics. In reality, these roles are merely two extremes that exist in a small portion of the population.
In Seth's character did have a job, albeit a webbased porno operation startup. Yes he did drugs, but so did his future brother in law. I think men are portrayed poorly in this movie, but the women come off as shallow and vain.
This is the kind of drivel that comes out of the New School? Wow.
I am not criticizing the basic message, I am criticizing its delivery.
Absolutely disgusting.
Hmmmmm.... Sarah Palin, Governor of a State. Todd Palin, sled racer. Hmmmmmm....
parsy, the hmmmmmmmm...er
Who cares if more women go to college to take communications and sociology, just to end up marrying a doctor or a lawyer?
A lot of our gender problems relate to the lack of socialization between boys and girls. The assumption is that they are *supposed* to socialize in school, but this is demonstrably false.
Spending 50 minutes a day in the same room with someone of the opposite gender, when everyone is supposed to be learning, is not socialization. Grade after grade, even if someone is recognizable, it does not mean they ever even talk.
This is why much of our entertainment is based on a man and woman who are *forced* to interact, by circumstances, who then, fantastically, not only communicate with each other, but then become friends, and eventually lovers. In 50 minutes. Utter nonsense, but this is what children are being raised with.
Children who have opposite gender siblings are more fortunate, because they at least have some small amount of experience with the opposite sex. Not sexual, of course, but sex is just a short culmination of a sexual relationship. The other 99% is not sexual, but relationship.
But boys and girls are forced to confront that 1% *first*, before even saying “Hello”. Instead, what they need are hours and hours of non-sexual interaction, in which at times they have to compete, and at other times, they have to cooperate. It needs a physical, intellectual and emotional element, to help them figure out the perspectives and abilities of the other.
The need to understand each other’s family environment, including their parents and siblings, in a social context. This is not easy to do.
And then, the acid test, which it was tacitly thought of in the US South, was if they do date, and are thinking about marriage, then they have an experience with “necking”. Simply put, this is sitting on a sofa, and just kissing, with no groping, for an entire hour.
This is next to impossible to do with someone with whom you are not compatible. A root canal is more enjoyable. And usually, if the couple realize they are not compatible, it only takes a few minutes to figure it out, and they both *know*.
They know that getting married won’t work, because it won’t last. And there is not a thing either of them could do to make it work, because it just won’t.
But if they can make it through that hour, they will both know that they can make it through the rest of their lives. Some people never do find someone they are compatible with, though they might try a dozen times. But eventually they figure out they might as well just forget getting married, because it’s not for them.
Yet necking is only properly done with someone you have known for a long time. So even it is the end of a long process. A process that the kids of the future need, unless we want another generation of loners with several divorces, children from busted homes, and people thinking that men are from Mars and women are from Venus.
Very thoughtful post...thanks.
“I wonder how this behavior could be described as “Alpha-woman” behavior.”
Because a modern alpha woman is allowed to do anything, and nobody is allowed to ever comment on her behavior. She can be on girls gone wild, and then be snapping out orders at work the next day. And men are not allowed to comment on anything she does, thats the main rule.
This is the result of feminism. Society has been telling men for decades not to accept responsibility, and at the same time telling women not to expect it from their men. And when both men and women conform to the roles that are being asked of them it should come as no surprise - what’s surprising is the few who don’t.
Who is Megan Fox? I’m serious.
I think this is the after-math of divorce and single-parenting.
So many boys are raised by single moms that when they date and marry they expect to be taken care of.
*cringe*
A couple of my now-divorced friends married guys like that.
TV and movies caused it.
Life would still be normal if Hollywood didn’t exist. It will get its due one day.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.