A lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and calmly said, “I would like to buy some Cyanide.”
The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need Cyanide?” The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”
The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have Mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband. That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw
both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now, that’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”
An Irish daughter had not been home for over a year. Upon her return,
Her Father cussed her. ‘Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn’t ye call? Can ye not understand
What ye put yer old Mother thru?’
The girl, crying, replied, ‘Sniff, sniff....Dad....I became a prostitute...’
‘Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner!
You’re a disgrace to this Catholic family.’
‘OK, Dad — as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious
fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings
certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the
sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that’s parked outside,
plus a membership to the country club.....(takes a breath).....and an
invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the
Riviera and....’
‘Now what was it ye said ye had become?’ says Dad.
Girl, crying again, ‘Sniff, sniff....a prostitute Daddy! Sniff, sniff.’
‘Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a
Protestant.. Come here and give yer old Dad a hug.