[JenB]

Yeah? And kids who get bad grades say a 4.0 "isn't realistic". So what? Since when did we let what teenagers think is or isn't realistic influence what's right?

[AD from SpringBay]

Since when did we let what teenagers think is or isn't realistic influence what's right?

I guess you didn't get the email. The thing to be avoided with teens is making them mad by telling them what they can and cannot do. Any parent should try to avoid this at all costs - because we don't want to have an angry teenager running around being told what to do. Teens need the freedom to make lots of big mistakes early in life, otherwise they might get angry because someone told them what to do.

[Missus]

JenB, I agree: “expecting” the lowest common denominator isn’t a way to improvement. My short rant to the naysayers:

Abstinence is entirely possible, but it’s made far, far more difficult when the teen is put into challenging situations. By delaying single dating until the early 20s, when individuals are more ready for commitment and marriage, or by rejecting the serial monogamy of dating altogether and working on a courtship model of social relation, teens avoid the “alone after dark” and “alone in the house” situations that tend to cause the trouble.

It’s very, very hard to get overwhelmed by hormones and “give in” when you’re sitting there playing a board game with your date and your parents.

I didn’t date in high school. I didn’t have sex, either. I did have a social life—both boy and girl friends were at our house a lot, doing all sorts of fun social things; we went to dances, to the lake, on road trips. The trick to it: we had adequate adult company, and no peer pressure to “hook up.”

It is ENTIRELY reasonable to expect teenage people to exercise self control.