ON THE 8TH DAY OF CHRISTMAS
MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME
EIGHT QUAIDS A-QUILTING
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You Just Might Be A Scrooge...
If your only contact with three spirits on Christmas Eve is gin, vodka and bourbon
— you just might be a Scrooge
If you turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carolers away — you
just might be a Scrooge
If you buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas
— you just might be a Scrooge
If your favorite version of “Babes in Toyland” stars Michael Jackson - you just
might be a Scrooge
If you get your Christmas Tree at a rest stop at night — you just might be a Scrooge
If you give bathroom fixtures as Christmas gifts — you just might be a Scrooge
If your prized Christmas ornament is Santa Claus shooting the moon -
you just might be a Scrooge
If your favorite Christmas movie is Jurassic Park - you just might be a Scrooge
If your idea of Christmas dinner is a six pack of beer and a cheese log -you just
might be a Scrooge
If you think “Ho, Ho, Ho” is a line from a Rocky movie — you just might be a Scrooge
If your best Christmas tradition involves a fire and reindeer meat -
you just might be a Scrooge
If your favorite version of “Silent Night” is sung by OJ Simpson — you just might
be a Scrooge
If your favorite past time is putting defective bulbs in your neighbors’ string of
Christmas lights or defacing Christmas lawn caricatures with egg nog - you just
might be a Scrooge
And, finally - if your only holiday decoration is a rotting pumpkin -
you just might be a Scrooge
No Quaids please.
