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To: Lady Jag; MEG33; NY Attitude; WayzataJOHNN; tomkow6; SevenofNine; Kathy in Alaska; Lost Dutchman; ..

Good morning/afternoon, everyone!
Tude, thank you for brunch, LOL, sounds wonderful.
Gorgeous weather this week, day temps 76F night 56F, fabulous sleeping.
Allegra, thanks for putting the coffee pot to brew.;0)
Tomkow6, drag yer lazy bones in here.
Johnn, you taking care of yourself, in bed, and consuming chicken soup ??
Meg, I'll have some of your platter, yum.

Oh, as you see, I am off again *grins*.

871 posted on 08/16/2008 10:12:21 AM PDT by Soaring Feather (I soar- 'cause I can...I earned my wings, they have been broken -now healed to soar.)
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To: Soaring Feather; tomkow6; NY Attitude; WayzataJOHNN; Kathy in Alaska; MEG33; Allegra; ...
Saturday turned out better than we thought it woold. I hope you all had the same, although the Horrorscope makes look doubtful for some.

 

 

Lady Jag’s Personal Horrorscope
for
Saturday, August 16, 2008

 

Solitude is fine, but you need someone to tell you that solitude is fine.

Honore de Balzac



 

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Angst day, today.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

A friend will ask your advice on a technical matter. If you answer, you'll be blamed. Pretend you don't know anything about it.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Not only is this a good day to throw a tantrum, but there's a good chance that you might set a new distance record!

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

You will soon need to look older than you actually are. Bushy eyebrows generally do the trick. You'll find that a little rubber cement and a pair of sleepy hamsters are just what you need.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Nobody will notice your new haircut, which you will find intensely irritating. It's not as if you always had an iridescent green mohawk, you know?

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

You will get a postcard from the Forbidden City today, containing some very unsettling news. You won't realize that, of course, since it will be written in a language you don't understand.

Libra (September 22 - October 22)

Today you will discover a troupe of gypsies hiding in your bathroom. They will leave when you ask them to, but you should expect a fair amount of grumbling.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Today one or more close relations will pout. You will stoically endure this, and will steadfastly refuse to relinquish control of the remote control.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

You will be accosted today by several of those people who think only of themselves, and who believe that "sharing" is something that little kids have to do. Despite this, I recommend against turning them over your knee and spanking them -- unless you think you can get away with it.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)

Good day to doodle all the day.

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

Today you'll try the old "goat in a box" trick, on your new boss. It'll backfire, though, and you'll be the one with the clown shoes.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Today will mark the first time you've ever actually "wrestled" a largish reptile. Although an unexpected experience, you will find it strangely stimulating, and may decide to pursue it as a career.

 


 

872 posted on 08/16/2008 1:26:13 PM PDT by Lady Jag (The trouble isn't that there are too many fools, but that the lightning isn't distributed right)
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To: Soaring Feather; Lady Jag; WayzataJOHNN; tomkow6

and then the fight started..............
>
>
>
> After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
> for Social Security.
>
>
>
> The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to
> verify my age.
>
>
>
> I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
> home.
>
>
>
> I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go
> home and come back later.
>
>
>
> The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’.,
>
>
> So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
>
>
> She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for
> me’ and she processed my Social Security application.
>
>
>
> When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience
> at the Social Security office.
>
> She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants.
>
>
>
> You might have gotten disability, too’
>
> And then the fight started.....
>
>
> ************************************************************************
> ********
>
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
> reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she
> sat alone at a nearby table.
>
>
>
> My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’
>
> ‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend.
>
>
>
> I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those
> many years ago and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’
>
> ‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘Who would think a person could go on
> celebrating that long?’
>
> And then the fight started.....
>
>
> ************************************************************************
> ********
>
> I rear-ended a car this morning.
>
>
> So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver
> got out of his car.
>
>
> You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little
> things just seem funny?
>
>
>
> Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!
>
>
>
> He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ‘I AM
> NOT HAPPY!!!’
>
>
>
> So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well, then which one are
> you?’
>
> And then the fight started.....


876 posted on 08/16/2008 3:16:05 PM PDT by NY Attitude (<center>)
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