[Lady Jag]

It's Monday, you know? Waddaya gonna do?

 

Lady Jag's Personal Horrorscope for Monday, August 25, 2008 How do we know for sure that no two snowflakes are the same - we haven't got anybody watching.

---

 

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Good day to sip tea. Remember to extend your pinkie!

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

People around you are starting to look a bit complacent. Good day to adopt a haunted expression and carry a large ball of aluminum foil.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Good day to buy lava lamps at garage sales. Once in a life-time opportunity. Also, if you happen to spot a white 100% polyester leisure suit with bell-bottom pants and a really large lapel, buy it on the spot. I know *I* would love to have one.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Bad day to tease a yak.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

You will be granted a religious experience of startling significance, similar in some respects to the accounts of statues of the Virgin Mary weeping. In this case, however, she will sneeze.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Today you will go into the prosthetic forehead business, having heard that everyone wants a prosthetic forehead to wear on their real forehead. It would be a good idea to do your own market research, in this case, before sinking all your savings in this venture.

Libra (September 22 - October 22)

Good day to bring your entrenching tool with you. You never know...

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Good day to start saving up for that electron microscope you've always wanted. I hear Sears will be having a big sale on them this fall.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

You will be strangely drawn to an odd glass sculpture in an antique shop. The proprietor will show it to you with some hesitation, and will be visibly perspiring when you buy it. You'll hear an almost anguished sigh of relief from him, as you leave with it.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)

You are about to invent a night light in the shape of a chess piece, which you will name the "Nighty Knight." You should be ashamed of yourself.

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

Try not to be too impulsive, today. Ask yourself if you really need that aircraft carrier, or if you just think it'd be fun to have.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Beware the toilet plunger of Doom.

 

[Soaring Feather]

Cancer (June 21 - July 22) Bad day to tease a yak.
My gosh, that is the last thing on my mind. LOL

[NY Attitude]

What, no crumpets?

[SevenofNine]

Well there is report off BBC wire claim that Pakstein coalitoin govt that kinda leaded by Benzier Buhtto widower has FALLEN APART