101 GREATEST SIMPSONS QUOTES.

Blogzarro.com ^ | unk | unk

[Phlap]

Homer: "I promise you one thing kids. When you are eighteen, you're out the door."

[Emmett McCarthy]

Some of the best ones are hard to catch - usually the stuff Bart’s writing on the blackboard after school. My personal favorite was “PORK IS NOT A VERB”.

[Guy in Bumblebee Suit]

The Simpsons is where my nickname comes from, I’ve been a huge fan forever! Or since 1988, whichever came first...

[AnotherUnixGeek]

Sadly, no quotes from Moe!

Moe hooked up to a lie detector:

Eddie: Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
Moe: No. Buzz
Moe: All right, maybe I did. But I didn't shoot him. Ding
Eddie: Checks out. Okay, sir. You're free to go.
Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight. Buzz
Moe: A date. Buzz
Moe: Dinner with friends. Buzz
Moe: Dinner alone. Buzz
Moe: Watching TV alone. Buzz
Moe: All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog. Buzz
Moe: Sears catalog. Ding
Moe: Now would you unhook this already, please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment. Buzz

[Vince Ferrer]

Centuries ago, Simpsons was one of the best shows on television when their material was fresh and funny. Now? It’s done, put a fork in it.

A good exercise would be to date all of these favorite quotes by season to be able to chart when the show really lost it.

A missing favorite: "Embiggens? Huh, I never heard that word before I came to Springfield." "I wonder why not, its a perfectly cromulent word."

[LanaTurnerOverdrive]

My favorite Moe quote which did not make the list;

Moe: "I've done a lot of things in my life that I'm not proud of. And the things I am proud of are disgusting."

[MinorityRepublican]

I think the show’s prime was from ‘92 to ‘97, the years after it declined slowly but after the millenium, the show became unwatchable, IMHO.

[Revolting cat!]

“Absolutely, 100% Not Guilty...”

No, I think what made it memorable was '200%'!

[Vince Ferrer]

For me, it was the death of Phil Hartman, whenever that was. It went from a natural, sarcastic, but upbeat outlook to a cynical, pessemistic show. It didn’t take me long to stop watching.

[NonValueAdded]

Obviously an unranked list. And where is “I didn’t do it; nobody saw me; you can’t prove anything” go? That has to be in the top 3.

[trisham]

LOL! Unbearably funny!

[Vision]

They missed a great one from Moe. Something along the lines of...

“Jees Homer. Bart's gay, Lisa is a vegetarian. You and Marge aren’t brother and sister are you?”

[SShultz460]

[Jonx6]

From the sky comes a scream, as Homer is crashing right into the Capitol. A few footsteps later, he comes running down the stairs.

Homer: America, take a good look at your beloved candidates. They're nothing but hideous space reptiles.
[unmasks them]
[audience gasps in terror]

Kodos: It's true, we are aliens. But what are you going to do about it? It's a two-party system; you have to vote for one of us.
[murmurs]

Man1: He's right, this is a two-party system.

Man2: Well, I believe I'll vote for a third-party candidate.

Kang: Go ahead, throw your vote away.
[Kang and Kodos laugh out loud]

[Churchillspirit]

LOL!

I thought it was that Simpson too.

"I would never wear those ugly ass shoes"

[HelenChicago]

Another Kent Brockman favorite: “I’ve said it before and
I’ll say it again. Democracy simply doesn’t work.”

[L.N. Smithee]

The following quotes illustrate the reasons why I can count on the fingers of one hand the total amount of entire Simpsons episodes I have ever watched:

---

Superintendent Chalmers: “Thank the Lord”? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion.

Sideshow Bob [Voiced by Kelsey Grammer, a Republican]: No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it.

Sideshow Bob: Your guilty consciences may make you vote Democratic, but secretly you all yearn for a Republican president to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king!

Homer: You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don’t work out in real life, uh, Christianity.!

Ned Flanders: I’ve done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!

And most of all, this one:

Reverend Lovejoy: Marge, just about everything’s a sin. [holds up a Bible] Y’ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we’re not supposed to go to the bathroom.

---

It's enough to have to deal with ignorance and bias in media that bleeds into daily life through interaction with people who sincerely believe the lies. When it's in entertainment as well, I issue the fatal remote click. There are plenty of alternatives out there that don't insult my beliefs or my intelligence.

[Liberty Valance]

# 53 from Mr. Burns:



Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There’s a *New* Mexico?

[joebuck]

Lisa: Grandpa, that's OUR money you've been taking. I mean, what did you think when you started receiving a bunch of checks in the mail for doing absolutely nothing?

Grandpa: Oh, I just thought the Democrats were back in power.

[JRios1968]