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I took computer programming using a hollerith card punching machine to write our programs.

So did I! In fact, I had to drop COBOL the first time around .. it was a one-credit hour course, and I didn't have time that semester to devote hours and hours of real-time to typing out COBOL cards one at a time.

By the time I retook the course, Trinity had implemented a system that let us sit at workstations and key in card images, which we could then send to an automated punch in the computer room. The operators would punch the cards, which we would then submit, sometimes as we stood there at the window.

In my first programming job we still used card punchers for the OS/MVT JCL cards.

All through college, we budding computer scientists (we were often reminded that we were not "merely" programmers) were told that we would never see JCL. In fact, Trinity only offered a one-hour JCL course in even-year spring semesters; in 1980, they cancelled the course, even though twenty-some-odd students signed up for it.

The first weekend of my first job, what was I doing? Why, modifying all the JCL in the shop in preparation for a disk drive upgrade, of course!

We also had to ask the operators not to submit a job with a sort in it until no other sorts were being run, since there was only 1 sort partition, and if 2 sorts were run at the same time, both jobs would fail.

I can remember flirting with the operators to get them to change the print train in the line printers so that I could print my stories in upper- and lowercase ...

The first weekend of my first job, what was I doing? Why, modifying all the JCL in the shop in preparation for a disk drive upgrade, of course!

I was half-watching something on TV, where they used some stock 1980s footage of computer room operations. Something seemed vaguely familiar, and I realized I was reading the main MVS operator's console. I was watching the job starts, stops, tape mounts, start and end of printing, etc. I wasn't paying attention, it just activated some part of my brain.

Another time, I had something on the History Channel running while I was sitting here freeping. I realized I was listening to, and understanding, the soundtrack of a German newsreel. My German is exceedingly rusty, but newsreel scripts, like Church Latin, were written in basic, easy-to-understand forms.

I have problems with suspension-of-disbelief when watching movies, and there are are these technical gaffes with weapons, or poor special effects, that immediate catch my attention, even though I want to watch the movie and enjoy myself. I didn't have any problems like that with the LOTR movies, because no gross blooper made it to the screen.

Tonight's Saturday night gun pron was inspired by an offline discussion about assembly problems with the HK91/G3 bolt. What seems like a simple process sometimes isn't. It's a case of knowing what's wrong, but not being able to figure a way around it. Here's the weapon in question:

The Norwegian military seems to have the clearest instructions.

Steps 3,4, and 5 are the tricky part. The bolt head is small, slippery, and has to fight a heavy spring on a latch.

This is the culprit. The spring is under the right of the bar, and the latch that controls the bolt head is on the left.

When you "jab" the bolt head down (it tried to jab me back, so I used a plastic no-bounce hammer), you get the latch at the lowest point of the bolt, and the work is all uphill after that. You have to magically pull the bolt head forward, and twist it so the latch moves off the flat, and onto the highest part of the rear edge. All against considerable spring pressure.

I got lucky once, and was able to use a fingertip to press down on the spring-end of the latch, easing the pressure enough to allow everything to work. It pretty much mashed my fingertip, too. Every other approach was pretty difficult, too.

Finally, I just wrapped the bolt head with rag, and tried some pliers. With some decent leverage, the spring pressure seemed trivial, and I didn't have to clamp on to the bolt head with a death grip. It worked easily, and nothing was harmed, especially myself.

This was done to help out another H&K owner. For myself, I bought this genuine H&K tool. It's extremely rare because it was intended for depot-level maintenance. It should have been standard issue, at least to the squad level. It's a simple aluminum tool with some cuts to hold the bolt carrier, and a tapped hole where a thumbscrew is turned down to press down on the right side of the latch.

You relieve as much spring pressure as you want. You can then turn and twist and slide the bolt head to wherever it needs to be, and then back off the screw.

My instincts told me to buy the tool, even though it cost $50, ages ago. It has more than paid for itself. It's a damn shame they never made many, and these tools are now impossible to find.

What was Heckler & Koch thinking? It's the only non-trivial part of field maintenance on these weapons.