****THE OFFICIAL GOOD FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD****

Awesome Eggs ^ | April 6, 2007

[Lucky9teen]

Good Friday To You All!!!

 

From the earliest times the Christians kept every Friday as a feast day; and the obvious reasons for those usages explain why Easter is the Sunday par excellence, and why the Friday which marks the anniversary of Christ's death came to be called the Great or the Holy or the Good Friday.

 

Easter marks the Resurrection of Jesus three days after his Crucifixion. Sandwiched between the 40 preparatory days of Lenten penitence and the seven weeks of Eastertide, it is the most important and most joyous holiday on the Christian calendar. 

 

Easter, like the spring season it graces, is associated with birth, renewal and fertility.  In 2007, Easter falls on April 8.

 

The Easter timeline runs as follows:

• Shrove Tuesday, aka Mardi Gras

• Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent...

• Lent — 40 days, excluding Sundays

• Holy Week, the last week of Lent, consisting of:

  • Palm Sunday

  • Maundy Thursday

  • Good Friday

  • Holy Saturday

• Easter Sunday

• Easter Monday

• Eastertide, the 50 days leading up to Pentecost...

• Pentecost

According to the eighth-century theologian the Venerable Bede (who came up with the dating system of AD and BC), Easter is named for Eostre, an Anglo-Saxon goddess of spring. She is associated with the egg and with the hare, both symbols of procreation that have been enduringly incorporated by the church in the form of Easter eggs and the Easter bunny who brings them.

 

 

 

 

Top Ten Reasons to Celebrate Easterr

10. You absolutely love the movie, "The Ten Commandments".

9. You look really, really good in yellow.

8. You just went on a low cholesterol diet and didn't want to waste all those eggs in the fridge.

7. You figure any Holiday that starts with a "Good Friday" can't be all bad.

6. You love to bite the heads off chocolate bunnies.

5. It's a good time to check out your neighborhood church and not be noticed.

4. You have this bunny suit you love to wear, but are too insecure to wear it without a reason.

3. Even though you don't know what it is, you really like the sound of going to a "Passion Play."

2. You figured since Jesus went to all THAT trouble to make it to the first Easter, you'd give it a shot.

1. As a Christian you celebrate the resurrection every other day, why not Easter too?
 

 

 

"Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there.  You can nail it to a cross, wrap it in winding sheets and shut it up in a tomb, but it will rise!"

[tomkow6]

100? Mine?

[tomkow6]

[Lucky9teen]

[Lucky9teen]

[tomkow6]

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross " Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

[Lady Jag]

[Lady Jag]

Ahmadinejad is sitting in his mansion when the sat phone rings. He picks it up and says "Hello". The voice at the end of the phone says "Hello Ahmadinejad, it's Paddy here. I'm just ringing to let you know that we've declared war on Iran."

Ahmadinejad smiles to himself, "Come on Paddy",   he says, "there's no point you declaring war on us, you wouldn't stand a chance." Paddy replies, "No, no, we’ve had ourselves a meeting, and we've decided to declare war on you."

So Ahmadinejad says, "OK Paddy, now listen, I've got an air force of over a thousand planes, what kind of air force have you got to match that?

It'd be over in no time." So Paddy says, "Well my lad's got himself a hot-air balloon, and my brother used to work at an airport."

Ahmadinejad laughs, "Oh come on, you've not got a hope".

"Hold on a sec, Ahmadinejad,“ Paddy says, "We’ll just have a quick meeting." So off he goes and has a quick meeting. "Are you still there Mr. Ahmadinejad? Yes, well we've had our meeting, and we've decided that we're still going to declare war."

So Ahmadinejad says, "Right then Paddy, well you know, as well as the air force, we've also got about a thousand tanks. How are you going to match that?”

Well," Paddy says, "I've got an old Austin, and my cousin down the road has got a tractor."

"Get real,” says Ahmadinejad, "that's no match at all."

So Paddy says, "Hold on, I'll just go and have another meeting."

"Are you still there Mr. Ahmadinejad? Yes, well we've had our meeting, and we've decided that we're still going to declare war."

Ahmadinejad thinks this is just amazing, "Well how many soldiers have you got Paddy?".

"Well," says Paddy, "there's me, my kid, me 4 cousins, and they all had sons, and there's Bill down the road.... I reckon I could get together about 30."

Laughing openly now Ahmadinejad replies, "Come on Paddy, I've got 10,000 highly trained fighting men at my disposal. I think you'd better go and have another meeting."

"I will", says Paddy, "I will.” “Are you still there Mr. Ahmadinejad? Yes, well we've had our meeting, and we've decided that we're not going to declare war on you after all."

"At last,” replies SH, "What made you change your mind?""

“Well, it's those 10 thousand soldiers you see. We can't declare war on you because we've not got the facilities to keep all those
prisoners!"

 

[Lucky9teen]

[Lucky9teen]

[Lady Jag]

YEAH?

[lilylangtree]

TAKIN A TINKLE

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a
masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the
stomach. Luckily the babies were OK.

The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because it was too risky
to operate. She gave birth to two healthy daughters and a healthy son.

All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in
tears.

“What’s wrong?” asked the mother. “I was taking a tinkle and this bullet
came out,” replied the daughter.

The mother told her it was okay and explained what happened 16 years ago.

About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears.

Mom, I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out.”

Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what happened 16 years
ago.

A week later her son walked into the room in tears. “It’s okay” said the
Mom, “I know what happened You were taking a tinkle and a bullet came out.”

“No,” said the boy, “I was playing with myself and I shot the dog.”

I KNOW YOU SMILED

[tomkow6]

         YEAH!

[Lady Jag]

> NO-O-O-O-O-O!!!!!!!!

[Lucky9teen]

[Lucky9teen]

[Lucky9teen]

[Lucky9teen]

[ErnBatavia]

Barack-O-rack-O-rack-O-rack-O-mania?

[Lucky9teen]

Something is going on with my posts today...it’s pissin me off. I post, hit submit and get an error message. So I go back to the thread (before I posted) and my post shows up 4 times. I don’t get it....