Dimensional Door - Freeople Thread 31

today | Me

[Cardhu]

Do you think we could make Dark´s head explode? :)

[sweetliberty]

"Do you think we could make Dark´s head explode?"

ROTFL! Now THAT would be amusing.

[null and void]

Hey Darks? Where's that peekture of you looking down a howitzer tube?

[null and void]

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."

So he tied her up and went golfing.

---

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"

The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"

"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."

---

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

---

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

---

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."

---

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

---

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.

On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap, The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

[grannie9]

LOL...I read that about five this morning..and I agree about the head explosion.

Sheeeesh Cardy...give us break will ya?

[grannie9]

Funnnnnnnny Nully. Good batch of laughs there. ;)

[sweetliberty]

"Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband."

And your point would be?

[Darksheare]

Splosions, where?

[null and void]

That would be my point...

[sweetliberty]

Y'all gotta check this out. My dad sent me this this morning. This kid is 4 years old. Unbelievable!

Jambalaya

[restornu]

Wondering what mama, grandma and great grandma been listening to when having babies its in the DNA for sure now!

[Cardhu]

That was great SL, that 4 year old can really play that accordion.

[sweetliberty]

Sings pretty darned good, too. Most 4 year olds can't carry a tune.

[Cardhu]

You see I only addressed it to the guys but as they can´t read they are saved.

Now, the ladies thought it must be sexy and could not resist a peek.

[Cardhu]

The other day you asked for some pictures of food... I took one today which does not look good but tasted OK... especially with new potatoes.

[sweetliberty]

Well, you're right about one thing, Cardy; it DOESN'T look good.

[restornu]

At least you are here to tell us about it...

When I see foam in my stew I won't eat it afraid it starting to turn but that is must me!;0

[null and void]

That looks interesting. What is it?

[grannie9]

Good morning chickens. It's a gorgeous day here in SW FL. again.

Hope you're all still healthy, wealthy and wise.

[grannie9]

Whatever it is, let's not eat it, ok? :(