Posted on 03/09/2007 4:57:01 AM PST by Lucky9teen
Absent!
Singing!
How do you solve a problem like ghonorrhea?
And would you believe that I just shared that song title with some friends earlier this week?
Shalom.
You all have a great weekend!!!
Funny story but not true.
The pen was developed by a private company that still makes them. I know because my company buys them. They are the only pens that work on the floor.
And if the Russians used a pencil that might explain some of the problems with their space program. Think pencil dust in zero gravity with delicate electronics all around.
A mean a pun of mass destruction.
No, no, no. Let's try it again.
That was a small tactical nuclear pun.
I mean, a wee pun of mass destruction.
Shalom.
Egad!
Has Anna Nichole Smith been resurrected????
WHO IS JACK SCHITT
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple
produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens
nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently
returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
Wanna dance?
That woman isn't on drugs, she's just nuts.
Well, someone was pleased that was all he/she had.
LOL!
Truly!
my head hurts
A young guy and his girlfriend are driving down the road one day. "I dare
you take of your shirt." he teases her. "Okay!" she replies,
removing her shirt. "I can't believe you did you that!!!" he says with a
laugh. "Oh, you like that?" she asks smiling. "Yah!" he replies nodding
his head and grinning.
She then proceeds to remove her bra, shorts, and finally her panties. Her
boyfriend is so surprised and distracted at seeing her naked that he loses
control of the car and veers off the road, flies over an
embankment, and wraps the car around a tree. His girlfriend is thrown
clear, but he is trapped. She tries to pull him free but alas, he is
stuck.
"Go up to the road and get help," he pleads.
"But I don't have anything to cover myself with!"
Looking around he sees that one of his shoes has come off. "Put this
between your legs to cover up a little," he tells her. She does this and
goes up to the road for help. Along comes a truck driver who comes to a
screeching halt upon seeing the naked crying woman. "My boyfriend, my
boyfriend!" she sobs at him as he gets out of the truck, "He's stuck and I
can't pull him out!"
The truck driver, looking down at the shoe between her legs replies,
"Ma'am, if he's in that far, I'm afraid you're never going to get him
out."
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.