Posted on 02/15/2007 6:34:03 AM PST by woodbutcher1963
When a man fails to help out around the house, his poor performance might be related to a subconscious tendency to resist doing anything his wife wants, a new study suggests.
Men and women are sure to argue about this one. In fact, the man and woman who led the study disagree on the meaning of the results.
Psychologists have long known about "reactance," the tendency to do the exact opposite of what's requested by a loved one or boss.
• Click here to visit FOXNews.com's Human Body Center.
The new study aimed to find out whether the phenomenon might occur at a subconscious level.
Participants were asked to name a significant person they perceived as controlling their lives, and another who just wanted them to have fun.
Then they were asked to discern words from jumbled letters on a computer screen while the names of the people they had mentioned were flashed subliminally. The names were flashed too quickly to be registered consciously.
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More like he learned the hard way that, on the whole, no matter what he does he's wrong ... so why bother? Efforts consitently unappreciated will not be repeated for long ... much less followed up by greater efforts.
There's also the stuff he needs to do - and it's just as, and sometimes more so, important than whatever she's pushing for. Some stuff still needs doing, so at some point he must shut out the distractions and do it. Along with other "important stuff", this includes doing personally important (even if incomprehensible) sanity-retaining activities.
And sometimes the "reactance" (opposite behavior of what's asked) is done to draw attention to the fact that there's something wrong with the request. Verbalizing the objection didn't work, so maybe non-verbalizing will.
Perhaps they're just studying the symptom. Perhaps the question should be: why is she demanding so much that he stops being cooperative?
I think the problem is that women want to talk about how they "feel" about mopping the kitchen floor as well as everything else under the sun. Way too much flirting with the kind of drama that I don't need in my life. I live alone.
Yes dear.
Why else would it take so much effort to listen?
Because the fluff to content ratio is 10:1. It hurts my brain to remember the good stuff while simultaneously sorting and discarding the rest.
Ignore who?? hmmmm
My favorite Uncle Jim told me to marry a beautiful woman. I did him one better; I figured that if you play your cards right you can get a wife who's beautiful AND smart AND everything else--AND who thinks you're wonderful! I was right.
"You fooled your mother, but you don't fool me!"--a typical remark. She's right. She's also smart enough to know she's got Heaven on Earth. Maybe she can see right through me like xray vision--but who cares? She knows she's married to The Superman!
That's by far the best option. We didn't let half of Mexico into the USA for nothing. ;)
But if the question is asked as part of a campaign of passive-aggressive manipulation (which is an epidemic among the female victims of American popular culture), she indeed shouldn't be asking in the first place.
No. Women just want the floor mopped differently. That's all. I'm with the above poster though. I don't want to do it either. Over the years I have learned that fishing is much more fun than housework:')
Are you just stereotyping, or is it actually like that, at your house? :(
And what the hell does "Have fun with," mean?
House work? Like repairing a screen door?
Hey, this should be followed by a warning:
BEWARE OF THE FEMALE EGGHEADS!
I agree but I have to add that she shouldn't have to even ask to begin with.
ain't hearing aids great!! Why one lil scratch of an ear and suddenly life is peacful and serene!!
Well, there are no women like that at my house. I'm out earning almost half (46%) of the family income, so if by "female victims of American popular culture" you mean those who watch "Oprah" or "The View" - I'm not exposed to that. If that's a problem at your house, encourage your wife to get a job. ;)
Who can argue with science? Not this husband, I tell you!
I am e-mailing this to the Mrs., PRONTO.
Married with husband estrogen bot ping!
Both people live there; the household is the responsibility of both.
Agreed.
Funny how the men don't seem to object to having "their" chores.
And when the request amounts to "drop whatever you're doing and do this for me even though I could have done it in less time and with less energy than it takes to verbalize this request, and even though it would be easier for me to do it than for you to, and even though I have no idea what you're doing but I'll just assume this trivial request is far more important than whatever petty thing you must be wasting your time on", yes, it's not about asking, it's about establishing and assuring dominance.
There are some really....."interesting".... marriages out there, from what I'm reading on this thread.
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