Broken down on a rural road; hood up, peering into the engine compartment, the salesman was startled when a voice from his left opined, "It's the carburetor." He turned to see an old horse staring back at him from the other side of a split rail fence. In disbelief, he began to look around for the person who had spoken when the horse calmly repeated, "It's the carburetor." Dumfounded, the salesman shrugged, began inspecting the carburetor, and soon discoverd that it was, indeed, the source of his trouble and required only a simple adjustment. Offering an awkward "Thanks" to the horse, he drove directly to the farmhouse adjoining the pasture and, locating the owner, asked "How much do you want for that old horse standing out there by the road?" The old farmer eyed him up and down and said, "I'd bet the farm you don't know nothin' 'bout horses or you wouldn't be askin', so why are you askin'?" As the salesman described how the horse told him about his carburetor problem, an understanding smile crept across the old farmer's face, he gave a chuckle, and began to nod. At this the salesman stopped and asked, "Say, what do you know about that horse I don't know?" The farmer replied, "What I know is that horse done took you right in; you bought it hook, line, and sinker. He don't really know nothin' 'bout carburetors."
LOL!
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding
on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger stands in the pouring down rain.
"Can you give me a push?" he asks while hanging onto the door frame.
"Not a chance" says the husband -- "It's 3 o'clock in the morning!". He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was it?" asks his wife.
"Just some drunk wanting a push" he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I didn't -- it's three in the morning and raining like crazy out."
"Well, you have a short memory" says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down on vacation and those two strangers helped us? I think you should help him."
The man does as he is told and gets dressed and goes out into the pounding rain and calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes the answer.
"Do you still want a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here.... on the swing!"