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Number One Idiot of 2006:

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison
control center.

Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter
eating ants.

I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need
to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to
eat in order to kill the ants.

I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right
away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Number Two Idiot of 2006:

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life
raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane
and home.

Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard
helicopter coming towards them.

It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon
that activated when the raft was inflated.

They are no longer employed at Boeing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Number Three Idiot of 2006:

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and
wrote this: "Put all your muny in this bag."

While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to
worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before
he reached the teller's window.

So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo
teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the
brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup
note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip, and that he would
either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of
America.

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left.

He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of
America.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Number Four Idiot of 2006:

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his
speed using radar and photographed his car.

He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead
of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.

Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another
picture, this time of handcuffs.

He immediately mailed in his $40.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Number Five Idiot of 2006:

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the
cash from the cash drawer.

After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that
he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.

He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and
said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."

The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because
she didn't believe him.

At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave
it to the clerk.

The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put
the Scotch in the bag.

The robber then ran from the store with his loot.

The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the
robber that he got off the license.

They arrested the robber two hours later.