Could be worse.
(Posted last Wednesday)
A Croatian man got a nasty surprise when he tried to get out of his deck chair and found his testicles had got stuck.
Mario Visnjic had gone swimming naked in the sea at the Valalta beach in western Croatia.
His testicles had shrunk while in the cool sea and slipped through the wooden slats when he sat back down on his wooden deckchair.
But as he lay in the sun they expanded back to normal size and got stuck between the slats.
He was eventually freed after he called beach maintenance services on his mobile phone and they sent a member of staff to cut the deck chair in half.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1676319/posts
In the depths of the countryside there lived a farmer who took care of baby animals.
The farm was very peaceful until one day the farmer's pig was murdered. Now the farmer took the incident very seriously, so he started an investigation. Unfortunately, the only witness the farmer had to this murder was his pet bunny rabbit.
Since the rabbit was unable to speak and tell him who murdered his little pig, the farmer lined up his four prime suspects, a cow, a horse, a goat, and a duck, and told the rabbit to pick out who had committed the dirty deed.
The rabbit hopped up and down the line, checking each animal, and then finally hopped forward three feet, and stopped in front of the goat.
"It wasn't me! It was't me!" yelled the goat.
The farmer shook his head and said, "The hare's looking at you, kid."
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In the days of primitive tribes and grass huts, there was one tribe which was very warlike. They won many battles, and took control of many other tribes.
One of their customs when they beat another tribe was to take the most prized posession of the enemy's chief.
One time, after a particularly fierce battle they defeated a rich tribe, whose king had a prized solid gold throne.
Our warlike tribe took the throne, and put it in the loft in their cheif's house. Unfortunately, the throne was much too heavy to be kept in a loft in a grass house, and it fell right through the ceiling, onto the cheif, killing him instantly.
The Moral of this story is...... People who live in Grass Houses shouldn't stow thrones!
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All the monks in a certain monastery sing the simple word "Morning!" from their windows each sunrise.
Early one day after several "Morning!" greetings have been sung melodiously into the dawn air, a single greeting of "Evening!" rings out of one window.
In the courtyard below, Brother Timothy looks around startled, and says "Did you hear that, Brother Edward?"
"Hear what, Brother Timothy?" replied Brother Edward.
Brother Timothy sang in reply: "Someone chanted evening..."