I never saw the Coffee Achievers ad, but it sheds light on a Weird Al lyric:
You can be a Coffee Achiever
You can sit around the house and watch Leave It To Beaver
The future's up to you
So what you gonna do?
Dare to be stupid!
Dare to be stupid!
. . .
Chorus from The McCormick Brothers' "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee":
Coffee, coffee, coffee
Everywhere I go
Coffee, coffee, coffee
Everybody knows
That coffee is a natural
We drink it all the time
The world would go stark ravin' mad
Without the coffee grind
. . .
And I don't even like or drink coffee!
"Happy Mornings" is kind of freaky.
Early today, I don't usually see this thread for another 3 hours, what's the occasion?
Thanks for that Folgers thing. I just unleashed it on the officemates. I got a hugh kick out of it's effect on 'em (considering I'm a non-coffee-drinking morning person).
Hmmmmmm.. Coffee...........
The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot. There was a large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot.
As carefully and as gently as he could, he worked the thorn out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For a good ten minutes the man stood frozen -- thinking of nothing else but being trampled.
Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.
The man never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Twenty years later the man was walking through the zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where they were standing at the rail. The large bull elephant stared at him and lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times, all the while staring at the man. The man couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant.
After a while it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him.
The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.
Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, brutally killing him.
It probably wasn't the same elephant.
Morning Sully!!!
I think they're actually applying spray-on-tan for a fitness competition, but I couldn't help thinking something like 'Always have your exhaust inspected by a professional.'
How to steal an election (EVIL Diebold Alert)
(Thanks submarinerswife)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvwnJqLLgK8
At dawn the telephone rings. "Hello, Senor Humphrey? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, sir, that your parrot died."
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the international competition?"
"Si, that's the one."
"Darn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird.
What did he die from?"
"From eating the rotten meat."
"Rotten meat? Who fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, senor. He ate the meat of the dead caballo."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Mr. Lucky."
"Mr. Lucky! My horse that won the Preakness a few years back?"
"Si."
"How did he die?"
"He died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your hacienda! A candle fell, and the curtains caught on fire."
"What!!! But there's electricity at the house!!!! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral."
"FUNERAL? WHAT FUNERAL?!"
"Your mother's. She showed up one night out of the blue, and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike Driver."
*SILENCE*
"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're fired!"