[nuke rocketeer]

For years and years, a doctor had been having a drink after work at the same bar. Every time he walked in the door, the barman would mix his favourite drink, a hazelnut daiquiri.One day, the bartender didn't have any hazelnuts in the bar. Wondering what to do, he spied some hickory nuts and tried to make the drink from them instead.The doctor came in at his regular time, took a sip of the drink and exclaimed "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!"
"No," said the bartender, "it's a hickory daiquiri, doc."

[ArGee]

One Friday an Irishman walks into a bar in New York City and orders three shots of fine Irish Whiskey. He then proceeds to drink them, one after the other, pays, and leaves. He does the same thing one week later, and again a week after that. Finally, the curious bartender asks him what this is about.

"Well, I just came over to this wonderful country a few weeks ago but I left my two dear brothers back in the old country. When I left we agreed that we'd maintain our family ties by taking a drink at the same time every Friday. So I order one for me and one for each of my brothers. They're together over in Ireland with an extra shot for me."

The bartender is pretty impressed by this fraternal show of affection and soon starts readying the three shots before his Irish patron arrives each week.

One week the Irishman comes in at his usual time but pushes one of the shots back across the bar and says, "I won't be needing this one today."

The bartender is visibly upset at this and asks, "There's nothing wrong with one of your brothers, is there?"

"No, 'tis nothing like that," he replies. "It's just that, you see, I'm giving up drinking."

Shalom.

[rzeznikj at stout]

Two thirds of a pun...8^)