Yeah, I know I've whine a lot about her being with us. But I'm resigned to the fact that we committed to take care of her. However, that doesn't mean it has to be in our house.
When she was recovering from the hip surgery the second time, she really liked the place where she was. But that was rehab and she knew it was temporary.
Assisted living is out just because of the expense. She only has her SS check and we certainly can't supplement the difference. And there's no help coming from siblings.
I don't know how much she "knows" about the conversations we're having. We've certainly told her the sisters have no business suggesting a nursing home. And she knows we've been depending on her to help with Luke.
Maybe she thinks we take her for granted. But that's a two way street.
And she knows we've rebuilt significant portions of our house to accommodate her. The chair lift, the upstairs bathroom (that the boys refuse to use because the toilet is elevated), the back steps. etc.
So, there's that.
Understood. Maybe then, if there really aren't other choices, stop pretending there are, with this 'don't know how long we can...' kind of talk, and focus more on 'how are we going to...'. Put her at ease that she's not going to be shipped off. The advantage I saw in one of those assisted living places was at least she'd feel like she was in a place that was hers, and she wasn't unwelcome. She's been kindof an extended visitor with no ownership of anything... unless my guess on that is off base. Maybe she's still the mom and in charge, but I have a feeling the roles have reversed.