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Posted on 06/28/2006 10:14:11 AM PDT by HairOfTheDog
Well, yes and no. The roles have definitely been reversed. Wife calls the shots with regard to Nana. But then, she was always the responsible daughter. Nana was never very independent. Papa did all the business. She never learned to drive, etc.
I've yet to say anything directly to her. And wife's conversation with her directly has been based on "I need to be able to count on you for this," in the hopes that she would rise to the occasion. And she ~usually~ has.
As for ownership, she's referred to it as "our" house since she got here (I had to get over that). But again, with all the remodeling we've done on her behalf, she should feel some ownership. The only places in the house where there is not some accommodation for her are the office and the boy's bedrooms. That includes our room because she uses the standup shower.
I think, because some of this has come up so quickly, and because we've been so busy with other stuff that we really haven't ~defined~ if there are or aren't other choices.
But I think that's where we are now.
You do realize that under the terms of the contract I get the master password and keys to the mind control ray, the death beam, and all the spaceworthy vehicles, right?
My MIL and FIL are dealing with my FIL's gradual decline. Both of them are mid-80's. MIL swears up and down FIL has dementia. And how she loves to list off all his failings. Urgh! The interesting part is how he doesn't seem to have the "symptoms" in the doctor's office - just around her. She gets very, very angry about it all. I think it's because 1) they're having to come to grips with their own mortality and 2) her having to take on additional responsibilities such as driving and managing the finances. He gets very grouchy about his loss of vigor and independence. Can't blame him for that. It's sure not dementia, tho. They both remind me a little of children: one sullen because he can't go out and play, the other spoiled rotten for having to do more chores. I love them both, though. Love 'em to pieces.
Is this the contract that I have not been allowed to read yet? Because you have to tell me about these things if you want the selfdestruct devices to not be left armed.
Pardon me while I go file the 'guilt' setting off the mind ray...
That's interesting. The other day, even though she acted like she was dying in the middle of the night, she was up and ready to go to the doctor before I was. When I came downstairs she was sitting in her chair with her purse in her hand.
Don't forget the sharks with laser beams attached to their heads.
These two are weird enough already :~)
I am working on being so nutty that people know I am going senile when I start acting boring and normal. Seems like a good plan for some very good reason I can't recall at the moment...
No one we know, I take it? Uh-huh.
Ok, so if you start being boring and normal I will put you in a home.
Basically I get access to all the cool toys and stuff, what did you think? My friend Crystal at grad school had a saying about marriage... she said "What's yours is mine and what's mine is also mine" ;-p
Your telling the guy that has all your stuff :-D
Hmm... now I need a new series of books to read. What do you suggest?
You are too distracted when you start books! I should only recommend boring things for the next year or so.
You could try the Otherland quartet... or if you're in the mood for something sillier, "Discworld" is a nicely British comedy fantasy series. The best one of the ones I've got to start on is probably "Guards Guards".
Hmm, you do have all my stuff. Oh well, I get it back in two weeks.
The inlaws are an interesting study in marriage. Traditional Irish-Catholic. New York Irish-Catholic. They don't like each other at all. They got married because that's what they were expected to do. They stayed together because that's what they were expected to do. Both of them have been miserable for decades. Maybe they were in love once upon a time. But now all they do is snipe at each other. :(
My sweetie saw how tired I was coming home today and took me out to dinner. Now we're watching 24.
Are there any "Seniors activities" of some sort in town or at church? Maybe hanging around the house all day with no adults to talk with is getting her all antsy.
I don't have any advice...but what OT and Hair have said makes sense.
I know none of these decisions are easy. If they weren't hard enough just on an emotional level, there's also costs to consider and everything else. It's rough.
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