Well, yes and no. The roles have definitely been reversed. Wife calls the shots with regard to Nana. But then, she was always the responsible daughter. Nana was never very independent. Papa did all the business. She never learned to drive, etc.
I've yet to say anything directly to her. And wife's conversation with her directly has been based on "I need to be able to count on you for this," in the hopes that she would rise to the occasion. And she ~usually~ has.
As for ownership, she's referred to it as "our" house since she got here (I had to get over that). But again, with all the remodeling we've done on her behalf, she should feel some ownership. The only places in the house where there is not some accommodation for her are the office and the boy's bedrooms. That includes our room because she uses the standup shower.
I think, because some of this has come up so quickly, and because we've been so busy with other stuff that we really haven't ~defined~ if there are or aren't other choices.
But I think that's where we are now.
My MIL and FIL are dealing with my FIL's gradual decline. Both of them are mid-80's. MIL swears up and down FIL has dementia. And how she loves to list off all his failings. Urgh! The interesting part is how he doesn't seem to have the "symptoms" in the doctor's office - just around her. She gets very, very angry about it all. I think it's because 1) they're having to come to grips with their own mortality and 2) her having to take on additional responsibilities such as driving and managing the finances. He gets very grouchy about his loss of vigor and independence. Can't blame him for that. It's sure not dementia, tho. They both remind me a little of children: one sullen because he can't go out and play, the other spoiled rotten for having to do more chores. I love them both, though. Love 'em to pieces.