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**** Official Friday Silliness Thread ****
OFST | 04/21/2006 | IPW

Posted on 04/21/2006 7:40:22 AM PDT by BJClinton

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To: Las Vegas Dave

That's a great list.


681 posted on 04/21/2006 6:58:55 PM PDT by beyond the sea (Oh, for the days when "disrespect" was just a noun.)
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To: Las Vegas Dave
LMAO!

I'm sending this one to my mom!

682 posted on 04/21/2006 6:59:37 PM PDT by SquirrelKing
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To: Las Vegas Dave; EX52D; Lucky9teen; beyond the sea; Baynative; Beowulf; toldyou; MarineBrat; ...
Here's a homemade Top Ten from my failed, pathetic CHiPs thread, I think it is Silliness Thread-worthy:

Everything I know about driving, justice and tight pants, I learned from CHiPs.

1. A crashed car, any type of crash - even a riding lawn mower, will explode.

2. The main job of the highway patrol is to pull you from the above situation. Do not attempt to get out of your car on your own, you must be pulled free to survive.

3. Criminals are always misunderstood and will flee like rabbits on foot if chased long enough. You can always catch them when they try to climb a fence at the far end of an alley.

4. When tragedy unfolds on the interstate all other cars will slow down to 25 mph and space themselves out so that the highway patrol can zip around them on their 'cycles.

5. Highway Patrolmen always end their shifts laughing hysterically at some comical situation and will freeze sporadically for no apparent reason in the process.

6. Only Ponch and John can wear tight pants. If you wear them you are gay.

7. The only cool highway patrolmen ride motorcycles and wear sunglasses. Only dorky patrolmen drive cars.

8. No matter how many rules you break, cars you blow up, hi-speed chases you make, or expensive prototype police robo-cycles you defeat at taxpayer expense, the chief will never, NEVER suspend you and will always laugh like a loon at the end fo the shift with you.

9. Hot women always dig highway patrolmen in tight pants. Duh.

10. All police probelms are solved in under an hour and involve spectacular non-fatal chases. This is written in the bible somewhere.

683 posted on 04/21/2006 7:12:34 PM PDT by SquirrelKing
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To: Beowulf

ROTFLMAO!


684 posted on 04/21/2006 7:24:43 PM PDT by toldyou
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To: SquirrelKing; 5Madman2
ROFL...that's a keeper!

Don't forget that the CHiPs love Roller Disco on the weekends 8>)

685 posted on 04/21/2006 7:33:31 PM PDT by Horatio Gates (When it hits the fan, it may not be evenly distributed.)
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To: Horatio Gates
LOL

That's right! Surfing too! [They always catch smugglers when they surf]

686 posted on 04/21/2006 7:36:02 PM PDT by SquirrelKing
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To: Horatio Gates; SquirrelKing

I did all that just last shift, didn't you??

Slacker :)


687 posted on 04/21/2006 7:36:03 PM PDT by 5Madman2 (There is no such thing as an experienced suicide bomber)
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To: SquirrelKing; Horatio Gates

PS, you never have to write a report on any of it


688 posted on 04/21/2006 7:37:54 PM PDT by 5Madman2 (There is no such thing as an experienced suicide bomber)
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To: 5Madman2

LOL...my union sucks, man.


689 posted on 04/21/2006 7:46:25 PM PDT by Horatio Gates (When it hits the fan, it may not be evenly distributed.)
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To: 5Madman2
PS, you never have to write a report on any of it

Ha, ha...no kidding. Hey Ponch, where's the drag sled? you're doing the diagram.

Same thing on COPs. The guy with the camera crew blows off the reports for the poor schmuck who shows up second. Of course the shift Lieutenant you never see shows up for TV face time

690 posted on 04/21/2006 7:52:17 PM PDT by Horatio Gates (When it hits the fan, it may not be evenly distributed.)
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To: Horatio Gates

Come on down to Texas, we do it all, get paid time and a half all the time and don't need no stinkin' unions (I wish)


691 posted on 04/21/2006 7:53:56 PM PDT by 5Madman2 (There is no such thing as an experienced suicide bomber)
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To: EX52D

I'll take a beer anytime, with thanks (don't tell anyone, but I am having one now).


692 posted on 04/21/2006 8:05:13 PM PDT by Steelerfan
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To: HOTTIEBOY

True enough. No orphan beers.


693 posted on 04/21/2006 8:06:42 PM PDT by Steelerfan
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To: Horatio Gates

Even better-all the females are the "Crime Prevention/Community Policing officer types that have never been on the job and evryone needs to stand by while they "handle" a call.

It's really great when they need to deal with the naked schizo while everyone else stands by to see what she's gonna do


694 posted on 04/21/2006 8:12:33 PM PDT by 5Madman2 (There is no such thing as an experienced suicide bomber)
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To: Lucky9teen; Dashing Dasher

The beauty of the english language is the ever-present double entendre--that's the rub.


695 posted on 04/21/2006 9:11:10 PM PDT by sully777 (wWBBD: What would Brian Boitano do?)
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To: Steelerfan
Sage advice: If you clean the room earlier in the day without her asking, you are allowed full access to the club facilities.

It's worked for me for over a decade. But then again I had three older sisters that taught me the art through the pain you endured--but at a much earlier age. Been there and done that at age five.
696 posted on 04/21/2006 9:29:12 PM PDT by sully777 (wWBBD: What would Brian Boitano do?)
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To: BJClinton

... Just saying...

697 posted on 04/22/2006 2:56:21 PM PDT by Michael Goldsberry (Lt. Bruce C. Fryar USN 01-02-70 Laos)
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To: Toby06
Here you go...

Download this to your photobucket for me please.

698 posted on 04/24/2006 11:56:36 AM PDT by r-q-tek86 (Black ribbon on my IPW card in memory of PaulaB)
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