Posted on 04/18/2006 2:27:46 AM PDT by Chairman_December_19th_Society
We will not tire, we will not falter, and we will not fail!
Good morning!!
Do not let the victims of the attacks on New York and Washington, nor the brave members of our Nation's military who have given their lives to protect our freedom, die in vain!!
Will be packing today for vacation, and for the next few days we will have guest ranters. For today, however, I'd thought I'd leave you with some humor to get things rolling...
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Actual occurrences at an otherwise unnamed airline ticket office in Washington, DC:
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1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
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2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts," Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly! explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa," Her response - click.
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3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!"
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4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map."
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5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time."
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6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
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7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!" After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
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8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?"
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9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them."
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10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
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11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"
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12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?"replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply? "Whatever! I knew it was a big animal".
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Thus, the state of our Government.
For AMERICA - The Right Way, I remain yours in the Cause, the Chairman.
Rave, you have put my mind at ease.
NOTE TO ALL CONSIDERING INTERNATIONAL TRAVEL:
Make several photocopies of the pages of your passports and carry at least one in a separate place from your actual passport. Leave another copy with a trusted state side person, just in case this very thing happens. It isn't an unusual occurance and with the copies, takes very little effort to get it all straightened out.
It isn't pleasant but it isn't a tragedy either.
During the 1990s, even taking into account Operation Desert Storm and Kosovo operations, Congress and the administration averaged $22 billion of emergency spending per year. More recently, emergency spending is averaging over $100 billion in spending per year. Just two weeks ago, on a vote of 27-1, the Senate Appropriations Committee not only approved $92.2 billion in additional spending justified by the administration as "emergency," but it added a mere $14.3 billion more in amendments! Included were such highly important items as oyster restoration, more foreign aid, relocation of a library on a military base and ongoing regular Army procurement programs that the Pentagon moved to the "emergency" supplemental ledger so they do not have to compete with ships, aircraft and personnel costs.
If Johnny were doing the cooking, I might try to get into that prison.
And we won't come home 'til it's over over there.
I just read all the internet stuff I could find on state.gov
I'm departing from Copenhagen, Denmark - but I'm in Sweden......they usually have no passport checking when traveling between the two countries - so I'm assuming I can go the the Copenhagen US embassy. If not, I'll have to divert to Stockholm or Gothenberg - both out of the way)
Problem is - I'll need to cut my biz trip by a day or leave a day later in order to get the replacement passport. And then I need to get a "real one" when I get back to the States (new ones are state-of-the-art, digitized, post 9-11 security, etc - not available overseas)
>>Where are you? If in France,
It happened on the train from Denmark to Sweden
/johnny
I have one of those.
/johnny
>>Damn blondes. They always are distracting..
Funny you say that. The train stopped at a university town and was flooded with students. One of them (a young blond) - I was certain - was fiddling with my bag in the overhead compartment. My brain refused to believe somebody would do that with me right there in front of me and I ignored it
>>Damn blondes. They always are distracting..
Funny you say that. The train stopped at a university town and was flooded with students. One of them (a young blond) - I was certain - was fiddling with my bag in the overhead compartment. My brain refused to believe somebody would do that with me right there in front of me and I ignored it
Lots of things happen on that train....
Hoo Yah!
/johnny
Ignore my catz for one minute, and they will explain the error.
Inside pocket. Away from pick-pockets... I've dealt with imports from Bombay....
Love everybody. And have a plan to kill them. Each, and every one.
It isn't difficult.
/johnny
Damn. You really aren't nice.
/johnny
And single men don't grow into plaster saints.....
Good Morning to the Dawn Patrol.
Good morning. Tony Snow has been offered Scott McClellan's job in the WH; he is considering the offer. I'm praying he takes the job.
Good morning! I will be absent until 11:00 Am or so. I will check in around lunchtime.
Good Morning.
I hope Tony takes the job.
I'm about to head to the shower. I'm hitting the road early, this morning.
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